


Like It Or Not

by daehwisdays (ataezingkookie)



Series: buzzfeed au [1]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Handcuffed Together, Happy Ending, Jaehyungparkian, Kinda, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, not kinky lol, not yet anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-01-16 14:28:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12344514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ataezingkookie/pseuds/daehwisdays
Summary: Jae never thought he'd see Brian again, not after everything that happened.But he has shitty friends and makes shitty decisions, and somehow ends up handcuffed to his ex for 24 hours.or literally just the buzzfeed 'handcuffed to your ex for 24 hours' video, with added fluff, angst, and a dash of smut.





	1. bad with surprises

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello (huhuh) 
> 
> i haven't written literally anythinngggg since april so lets go easy on me okay
> 
> i wrote this bc peer pressure from teenuviel1227 and KIASK but also bc im super soft for jaehyungparkian
> 
> lets hope this is coherant yey

 

 

"I need a job.”

 

Jae didn’t miss the way Sungjin rolled his eyes at him as he sighed and dramatically flung his entire body on the couch.

 

“You have a job.”

 

“Do you really think two eight hour shifts a week making overpriced coffees is enough to sedate my overpriced heart?” Jae scoffed.

 

Technically Jae was a musician. He worked gigs in large clubs and he’d even gotten the opportunity to record some stuff for some of the most popular entertainment companies in Korea.

 

Alas, work had been slow for the past few months. Electronic pop was in, and therefore a demand for guitars and guitarists was very much out. He’d been forced to find a job in a wanna-be Starbucks a few weeks ago when it had gotten to the point that all three of his meals in the day consisted of a cup of coffee and nothing else. 

 

“You need to look for another one then.” 

 

Park Sungjin everyone. Twenty four, male, and world champion at stating the obvious.

 

“I _have_ been looking,” Jae shot in the younger’s direction defensively.

 

“Hyung,” Wonpil’s voice chimed from the kitchen, “Tweeting _‘someone hire me pls, i’m tall, cute and hot’_ doesn’t count.”

 

Okay. 

 

Well to be fair, Jae had thought there would at least be a few job offers thanks to that tweet, but even after a week there is only tumbleweed rolling through his mentions.

 

Tragic really.

 

“I could always put in a good word for you at work?” Sungjin suggested in that frustratingly patronising tone of voice, where he realises he has the upper hand of the situation and he _really_ wants to make sure you know it too.

 

“No thank you,” Jae’s voice dripped with artificial sweetness, “I don’t fancy slave labour.” 

 

Sungjin and Wonpil worked at Buzzfeed. They always raved about how great their jobs are, getting to create what they want and it being seen by millions, but Jae wasn’t blind. He noticed the dark circles under their eyes, he heard them typing away making last minute preparations at ungodly hours, and the fact that, as a couple, they were still having to flat share with a gangly, obnoxious twenty five year old, proved in itself that they were underpaid and overworked.

 

In reality, Jae didn’t _need_ the money, he wasn’t starving or sewing up holes in his socks, but he’s been ogling the new Fender amp for months now, and he was sick of not having it in his possession.

 

Just as everyone else was sick of Jae complaining about not having it in his possession. He’d suggested his friends buy it for him as a means to shut him up, but funnily enough that hadn't worked, not even on Wonpil.

 

“Actually hyung,” said gullible (read: adorable) idiot appeared from the kitchen holding a tray with three strategically placed bowls of ramyeon. “We have an idea for a one-off kind of video that’d be perfect for you to feature in.” The youngest placed the tray on the table whilst glancing quickly at Sungjin for support.

 

“O-oh yeah,” Sungjin was slow to catch on. It seems like there’s something Jae’s missing about this interaction.

 

Meh. Probably some romance bullshit.

 

“Yeah Jae that’d actually be perfect for you. In fact, it’d probably get you the rest of the money you need to afford that god damn amp so we can get more complaints from the neighbours.”

 

Interesting.

 

He reached out his hoodie-covered arm to grab a bowl and chopsticks, simultaneously raising an eyebrow. 

 

“What’s the catch?”

 

Wonpil looked like a kid that had just been caught stealing from the cookie jar. “C-catch hyung? There’s no catch, what do you mean.” In that case he should probably let his body language know.

 

“Trust me Jae,” Sungjin piped up through a mouthful of noodles. “You just have to make this video with us for twenty four hours and then you get paid upfront. Video, money, amp. Comprende?”

 

“And what is the nature of this video?” 

 

The couple looked at each other for a moment and unfortunately Jae isn’t quite gifted enough to understand their telepathy. More of that romantic bullshit.

 

“We can’t say, it’d ruin the reaction for the viewers otherwise.” Sungjin finally said very matter-of-factly.

 

“But we can tell you that it doesn’t involve exercise.” Wonpil added quickly.

 

A day. Twenty four hours. A random activity which didn’t involve exercise (thank god), and couldn’t be all that bad if it was going to be published on Youtube. Jae could deal with that. He’d survived college for gods sake, this would be a walk in the park.

 

“Sold.” Jae shrugged. He saw the pair’s faces light up as he shoved too much ramyeon in his mouth.

 

What he didn’t see was the menacing look the couple subsequently shared.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was somewhat daunting having full scale professional cameras aimed at you without a guitar to hide behind, Jae felt like he had a curl into himself slightly, his already oversized shirt felt too small and he’s starting to regret talking himself out of wearing his _‘comfort zone glasses’_ (as Sungjin calls them).

 

He felt exposed.

 

There was a team of about six people standing behind the cameras, two of which were Sungjin and Wonpil who were having a hushed conversation seemingly about something on the clipboard that Sungjin was holding. There was one kid, who couldn’t be much younger than Wonpil, messing with some wiring which was probably the microphones and he really didn’t look like he should be touching anything that had the potential to set on fire, but who was Jae to judge. 

 

The issue here is that Jae still doesn’t know what the video is.

 

He’s been clueless the whole week, not able to trick any information out of Wonpil. Not even their location gave anything away. Jae had been dragged out of bed at the ungodly hour of eight a.m. and force-fed breakfast, shoved in Wonpil’s car, and driven to an apartment on the other side of town. Big, fancy, expensive, it was nice enough.

 

It didn’t look lived in though. There were no pictures hanging and the mantlepiece was void of any trinkets, there was just expensive empty vases and pristine mirrors. Apparently the person who will soon be joining Jae on this too-big leather sofa is the owner of the apartment. They hadn’t met him yet because the person’s butler had let them in to set up.

 

Yes. _Butler._

 

Who in the twenty first century had a butler?

 

Jae wonders why someone who can afford a place like this (butler included,) would ever want their face all over a Buzzfeed video. 

 

“Where is he?” Sungjin anxiously checked his watched for the nth time in the last twenty minutes.

 

“Is someone actually going to tell me what’s going on or am I literally just here to make your video more visually pleasing?” Jae joked, probably not the best idea to an agitated film crew who proceeded to stare at him like he’d grown another head.

 

Rude.

 

At least the kid playing with the wires smiled. 

 

Thankfully Sungjin’s phone decided to go off at that moment and he made his way out of the room to answer it, whilst Wonpil walked over and perched next to Jae.

 

Now was his chance.

 

Without Sungjin to ‘guard’ him, Wonpil was vulnerable and in the best condition for Jae to extract information.

 

“Wonpillie.” Jae whined, the closest to doing aegyo that he is _ever_ going to get. “Please tell me what’s going on. You know I’m not good with surprises.”

 

It was true. In fact it was one of the main points he made sure to bring up when introducing himself. _“Hi I’m Jae, a twenty five year old music production graduate with a love for memes and a passionate hatred for surprises.”_

 

“Don’t worry hyung,” Wonpil looked down at Jae who’d rested his head on the younger’s shoulder, “You’re brave, I believe in you.” He flashed his signature smile and Jae found himself softening a little. This kid was one of his best friends and had been since Wonpil accidentally sat on Jae’s lap in the library five years ago. 

 

“Okay,” Sungjin’s slightly frantic booming voice made Wonpil jump slightly, Jae’s head slipping off his shoulder. “He’s nearly here, camera’s rolling guys.”

 

Wonpil stood quickly leaving Jae slightly bewildered and still very confused.

 

“Just remember hyung,” Wonpil said slowly backing away, “You love us very much and would never want to hurt us in any way--and also you agreed to this.” 

 

What.

 

“You aren’t here against your will.”

 

What the _hell_ had he let himself into? 

 

“Do I just sit here then?” In his defence the secrecy was becoming ridiculous. “What do I do?”

 

In the silence he got as an answer, Jae heard the front door open in the room next to them, and foot steps getting louder and louder. Closer and closer.

 

It felt like some horrible cliche moment in a movie, with the dramatic build up music as the plot twist is revealed. 

 

Both anxiety and suspense were having a wild time in the pit of Jae’s stomach.

 

“Sorry for the hold up guys, the seven eleven had run out of cup ramyeon so I had to go to the one by--”

 

Jae blinked. Then he blinked again. And again.

 

Shit.

 

There was no thought process happening in Jae’s brain in that moment. White noise rung in his ears.

 

Brian.

 

Brian was stood in front of him. 

 

Nearly two years, and here he was.

 

“ _Jae?_ What the hell are you doing here?”

 

The crash back to reality was a bitch. Jae was suddenly all too aware that he was staring and he whipped his head back around to direction of the cameras where he could vaguely make out Wonpil and Sungjin, both looking on with a mix of guilt and anxiety. In fact the whole crew looked incredibly uncomfortable with the situation. Just watching. Waiting. 

 

“What the hell? Seriously guys,” Jae heard Brian’s voice getting closer and more agitated as pieces were seemingly falling into place, “Not cool. You told me you were here to interview me about my album, what the fuck is my _ex_ doing here?”

 

_Ex._  Eighteen months and that word still hurt. After Brian, Jae had distanced himself from the concept of a love life, it hurt too much, made him too anxious and aware of things he didn’t want to be aware of. Of all the potential soul destroying scenarios for today that had previously played out in his head, being thrown in a room with Brian Kang and a bunch of cameras wasn’t even in the running.

 

“Brian, Jae,” Sungjin said, his professional tone just about covering the underlying awkwardness that was screaming to be heard. “Welcome to our _‘Ex’s get cuffed for twenty four hours’_ video.”

 

Silence.

 

Blood was rushing to Jae’s face and he suddenly felt his heart rate go through the roof. Anxiety and suspense had invited dread to the party in his stomach it was immediately evident that this new party goer was a wild one.

 

Feeling the first wave of nausea hit, Jae blindly reached out for one of the empty vases on the coffee table. 

 

He proceeded to empty the contents of his stomach into it. 

 

“Ah Jae,” The smarmy tone of Brains voice cut through the ringing in his ears. “As classy as ever I see.”

 

He _did_ say he was bad with surprises.

 

And Jae, Brian Kang, and the handcuffs Sungjin was now waving at them from behind the cameras.

 

Yeah. 

 

This was a surprise.

 

 

 

 


	2. one to five

 

 

“So when did you first date?”

 

“Three years ago.”

 

“For how long?”

 

“Eighteen months.”

 

“What… um, happened?”

 

Anyone could tell that the wires kid (who'd been introduced to them as Dowoon) was uncomfortable asking these questions, just as uncomfortable as the two unwilling participants were answering them. 

 

He’d probably lost at a game of rock paper scissors.

 

“Are you going to tell them or am I?” Brian asked with an icy tone. 

 

After the incident with Jae’s breakfast and Brian’s vase, Sungjin and Wonpil had floundered around for a bit, Wonpil throwing Jae some gum and panicking as to whether the content they’d shot already was a little heavy for their typical Buzzfeed video, and Sungjin triple checking if Jae and Brian were still up for filming.

 

It was very obvious that neither of them wanted to be there, let alone _film_ them being there and be handed cold hard evidence that they were in the same room. Yet when Sungjin had asked with pleading eyes and pouted lips, it surprised Jae that he wasn't even saying yes because he wanted to do something for his best friends.

 

Instead, it was like a kind of challenge had begun between him and Brian. Who would break first? And Jae, _couldn't_ lose.

 

For the first time since Brian walked in the room, Jae shamelessly took a long hard look at him. 

 

It was like being thrown into a time machine, Jae sitting and watching Brian’s side profile. His sharp jawline, his high cheekbones, almost everything was the same, even the betrayed expression that had taken over his face. 

 

But he’d dyed his hair a deep red. It was black the last time.

 

Jae shook himself out of his nostalgia fest, and plastered on the most obviously fake smile he could muster.

 

“I think it was just,” He paused for dramatic bullshit, “A matter of differences.” 

 

As he turned to smirk at the camera lens, Jae eyes met Wonpil’s, and he watched the look of dread wash over him.

 

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” Brian laughed, not an ounce of humour for miles. The crew held their breath.

 

Jae’s gaze didn’t leave the camera lens.

 

He _wouldn’t_ break first.

 

Brian seemed to work out what was going on, and much to Jae’s misery, he didn’t explode. Instead he calmly turned to face the camera.

 

“Yeah, a matter of differences. For example, you thought sleeping with other people was totally okay whilst in our relationship, and well, I didn’t--”

 

“Brian--" Wonpil started.

 

“--but no sure, a matter of differences.”

 

Silence.

 

“Um…”

 

If, by some miracle, Dowoon wasn’t feeling awkward before, he certainly was now.

 

Sungjin quickly leant down and whispered something in Dowoon’s ear, handing him a sheet of paper.

 

“Okaaay.” The kid with the too-deep voice started, “This is how today is going to work. You are going to go about your daily lives, going to places you'd always go, doing things you’d always do. The only variable, is that you will be handcuffed to your respective, um, ex.”

 

“Obviously this will hinder you from doing some things, and it will make other things near impossible. However for the sake of the video, ad cleanliness and hygiene, you will be allowed to unlock the cuffs to change clothes but you must always be within a metre of each other. Cameraman Yoon Dowoon, oh, that’s me, will be on hand with the key at all times to make sure you don't cheat-- wait hyung, I didn’t agree to this bit.”

 

As Sungjin completely ignored the kid and instead walked over to the ex-couple with the handcuffs in tow, Wonpil patted the younger on the shoulder with a sympathetic smile.

 

Shit, this was actually happening.

 

Jae was about to be handcuffed to Brian Kang, the person that he knew everything about. Or at least he knew everything about the Brian Kang from two years ago. His hobbies, his quirks, his weird habits, would they all still be there? Would there be more? Did Brian remember any these things about Jae? Or did he leave everything behind on that day he left?

 

“Well are you going to put your wrist in or not?”

 

Jae snapped out of it and he saw Brian’s wrist already securely in the handcuff.

 

Fuck. Here goes nothing.

 

* * *

 

 

**hour 1**

  

Thirty minutes in, and Jae thinks _maybe_ he can do this. 

 

They were being civil, no evil glares or condescending smirks had passed between them, and there had been no arguments as of yet. Hey, if the next twenty three and a half hours were anything like this, it'd be a breeze.

 

Granted, they hadn't actually said a sentence longer than three words to each other since the cuff closed around Jae's wrist.

 

The immediate after effect was Sungjin's sigh of relief, probably still reeling in a state of disbelief that his genius plan (Jae hated it but he had to give the guy credit) to get the two enemies in the same room had actually worked.

 

Wonpil had then ensured that they'd gotten all the details. Apparently Dowoon would be with them to film at locations, and at Brian's apartment, but they would also get a vlogging camera to record clips themselves in the mean time.

 

Honestly, Jae had begun to feel guilty that Sunjin and Wonpil were going to have to abandon this video after all this initial effort, simply because all the footage would be is the couple sitting in silence for twenty four hours. 

 

That was until Sungjin butted in the conversation with "Oh, and if we don't have enough footage to scrape a video together, you don't get paid."

 

Beside him, Brian didn't even flinch. 

 

It was painfully clear that he didn't need the money, which momentarily made Jae question how he was talked into it. But most of his brain was saying "shit bro, you've gotta make this work."

 

He'll do it for the amp.

 

Hence the reason why Jae is currently sitting next to Brian on the bus on the way to the gym (so much for no exercise Wonpil), trying to think of literally anything to say to get the conversation going. He wasn't losing the challenge, this wasn't giving in. If anything it was the opposite, he's going to make a decent video out of this crap day and still go home the better person and one up from Brian.

 

Jae could feel Dowoon, who was sat diagonally in front of them, on the verge of giving up, so he stuck his neck out.

 

"So how've you... been?"

 

One, two, three excruciatingly long seconds pause before Brian smirked, eyes still facing the front of the bus.

 

"We're doing this then? You need the money that badly?" he scoffed. "You've really spiralled in the last year and a half, bro."

 

Typically, the tinge in Brian's voice, suggesting superiority over him, made Jae simultaneously want to cry and punch him.

 

But no, staying level headed is what Jae does best.

 

He's had enough practice.

 

"Brian, look, I don't want to argue all day and neither do I want to sit in deafening silence, okay. Can we just try and be civil?"

 

The younger turned and their eyes met. It physically hurt Jae as he realised how much he'd missed Brian in that moment. There was no malice drowning them like earlier, and no hurt or pain in them like the image of the younger that's been ingrained into Jae's head from all those months ago. They were filled with _something_. Something Jae couldn't put his finger on, it was like he was searching for an answer in Jae's own eyes. A trick? A trap?

 

Whatever it was he seemed to find it and immediately his expression hardened again, although Jae is pleased to report that the grimace didn't reappear.

 

"Okay, deal. We can act like we're generic ex's. I'm sure I can just about manage pretending not to hate your guts for twenty four hours."

 

Ouch, that stung but Jae brushed it aside. Progress was progress after all. 

 

"Great." Not entirely sincere but that's okay because Brian could tell they'd come to a mutual agreement. He could see Dowoon in the corner of his eye breathing a sigh of relief.

 

"Why are we going to the gym by the way?" Jae asked after a beat, not wanting the tension to take over again. "Wonpil promised me there would be no exercise involved in this video."

 

"They said we had to go about our daily routines, so I figured we alternate. Do my afternoon, your evening, my night, and your morning."

 

Jae nodded, seemed fair.

 

"And it's my friends birthday tonight and I'm not missing out on a party. I'll definitely need some alcohol in me by that point."

 

"Wait so I have to come _uninvited_ to your friend's birthday party?"

 

"It's only Jinyoung, you'll be fine." Brian waves him off. "He might be a bit confused as to why we're in the same building let alone why we're handcuffed together, but whatever. He's a big boy now he can deal."

 

Jae found himself letting out a short but genuine laugh.

 

It felt weird.

 

Quick, cover up before Brian notices.

 

"So, you're a gym rat then?”

 

"Pah, hardly," Phew, the distraction worked. "I just lead a class on thursday afternoons."

 

"Oh, cool." 

 

Wait, what?

 

"--hold on. You lead a class? We're going to be handcuffed to each other in front of a large room of people, what the hell?" Brian laughed. That sight didn't help Jae's nerves. Yes it was good that they'd gotten past the first wall but the others weren't supposed to just collapse immediately. For the sake of Jae's wellbeing, they _need_ some boundaries.

 

"Please tell me it's not a spinning class I will almost definitely die if I try to keep up with that."

 

Brian smiled and looked at him again with a warm expression.

 

_No_. Boundaries.

 

"Don't panic, man. It's just basic level exercise, a weight loss class but I'm sure you can keep up. In fact," Brian's eyes scanned over Jae's body. He felt like his skin was on fire but he couldn't tell if it was in a good or bad way, (he prayed it was a bad way), "I should've offered to run the 'bulk up' class, if you lose anymore weight you'll disappear altogether."

 

Jae curled in on himself subconsciously. If Brian noticed he didn't say anything.

 

"Okay, I can deal with that, as long as you can deal with the embarrassment of being handcuffed to me."

 

"I'll just tell them we're really kinky." Brian said casually, turning and focusing his gaze on the front of the bus again.

 

Jae choked on air. 

 

How have they gone from exchanging fatal glares to joking about their sex lives within a matter of minutes?

 

Brian Kang, what the fuck?

 

 

~~~

 

 

Jae’s apartment was conveniently on route to the gym, (weird that Brian had been passing Jae so often and neither of them had known,) and Brian insisted they stop to change into their gym clothes. Dowoon sceptically unlocked their handcuffs, like he didn’t quite believe the ‘playing nice’ they'd done earlier and that this was all a ploy to try and escape. 

 

Changing clothes was awkward. 

 

It’s not like they hadn’t seen each other naked, they’d dated for a year and a half for god sake, but things had changed. The situation somehow made Jae feel so painfully uncomfortable.

 

“If we turn around we’re not cheating right?” Jae’s question was directed at Dowoon, but Brian raised an eyebrow and butted in.

 

“Who says I want to turn around?”

 

Okay, at this point, Jae’s realised that Brian must be being outrageously flirty to try and get him to break first. It wasn’t because he missed him and wanted their bantery friendship back, but hey, if it meant Jae got to pretend like he did, then he’d take it. It’s not like this was going to break him anytime soon anyway.

 

“Fine.” Jae quirked his eyebrow. Without breaking eye contact, he pulled his shirt over his head. Too immersed in it he didn’t even flinch when Brian’s eyes raked over his torso, before he also pulled his shirt over his head. 

 

Now was Jae’s turn to ogle at what he used to have. Except no. 

 

He never had any of this. When they were dating, I couldn’t be disputed that Jae was the skinny gangly one with limbs too long that often caused him to be clumsier than the average person, but at the same time, the Brian he remembered was _not_ buff.

 

Jae cant deny that he had loved every part of Brian before, and subjectively, he wouldn’t be able to chose which body he liked better.

 

This was just a shock. Obviously Brian goes to the gym more than he lets on.

 

He didn’t realise how long he’d been staring until he heard the huffed laugh from the younger.

 

“Like what you see?”

 

A blush crept up Jae’s neck and he almost spluttered, but he couldn’t give Brian the satisfaction.

 

Instead he quickly turned around an pulled his gym shirt over his head, before pushing his jeans off and pulling his joggers on in record time.

 

He spun back round, and Brian hadn’t moved, his eyes fixed on where Jae’s ass had just been. No doubt just more of his flirtatious act. He slowly began to change into his gym clothes, gaze not breaking from Jae’s.

 

The pair were so caught up in… whatever it was they were doing, that they'd forgotten poor Dowoon who was literally five steps away from them, pointing a camera in their direction, feeling terribly embarrassed but wondering if he could talk a bonus out of Sungjin for this extra juicy footage.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**hour 3**

 

 

If Jae thought exercising regularly was tough, being attached to someone else exercising whilst trying to exert minimum energy was even more exhausting.

 

They’d spent an hour and a half stood in front of a class of about twenty five people, men, women, teenagers, old age pensioners, all looking very confused about the fact that their instructor was handcuffed to a gangly, pouty guy.

 

It probably didn't help that Dowoon was standing pointing a camera at them, looking more out of place than Jae felt.

 

Jae kind of felt sorry for the class because Brian didn't explain anything about the situation, he just went about the class, setting exercises (the demonstrations he performed were interesting as Jae had to try and time his bending down for the burpees so his arm didn't get ripped off,) and then making their way through the class, correcting posture and giving tips. 

 

There was one girl in particular, who, when Brian had approached her, with Jae in tow, to help with her posture with the dumbbells, she batted her eye lids at Brian, a hungry look on her face which made Jae shudder. But that was nothing compared to the glare she shot at Jae as Brian turned away and grabbed his wrist to lead him over to the next person.

 

He’d never felt more alienated. 

 

Thankfully he'd picked up his trusty 'comfort zone glasses' before he’d been dragged out his apartment, but he still felt so uncomfortable, he’d started to question why on earth he’d ended up in the ridiculous situation.

 

“So where to now?” Dowoon asked as they the fresh air hit them when they _finally_ left the gym. 

 

“I’m hungry.” Jae whined, his skin might’ve been crawling minutes ago but Brian couldn’t know. 

 

“Where do you want to eat?”

 

“It’s your afternoon, you get to pick.” Jae shrugged.

 

Brian considered for a moment. “I know this place twenty minutes away, it’s like an old American diner? Burgers to die for.”

 

“It’s a date.”

 

Brian raised his eyebrow challengingly, but Jae just smiled sweetly back.

 

“Okay, guys,” Dowoon sighed loudly, leaning down and resting his weight on his knees like he’d just run a marathon. “You're both great and all, but I seriously need a break for a couple of hours. I’ll get Wonpil to send you my number, text me when you need me, or if you go somewhere. I’ll meet you at some point along the way. Use your vlogging camera or Sungjin will have my head.”

 

With that, the kid turned and walked down the street, a less than half hearted wave thrown in their direction. 

 

“What’s with him?” Jae chuckled.

 

“Beats me. Come on, food.” Brian wrapped his fingers around Jae’s wrist and gently pulled him the opposite direction.

 

 

 

~~~~

 

 

 

“So,” Jae had just finished a mouthful of the ginormous burger that had landed in front of him. Brian still had good taste, “How did they manage to trick you into doing this video?”

 

“Oh, they told me they needed my apartment to film in, then this morning once I’d gone out to buy lunch for everyone, Sungjin texted me saying there was a last minute change of plan and they needed to interview me instead. But then I walked in and saw you just sitting there, and I-- well anyway, I was pissed that they’d tricked me.” Brian trails off, pulling his burger (and subsequently Jae’s wrist,) up to his mouth and taking another massive mouthful, like that was an end to the questions.

 

But Jae wasn’t giving in that easily.

 

“So you kept in contact with Sungjin then? And Wonpil too?” Jae pushed a chip into his mouth as Brian nodded. “It’s funny, they never mention you.”

 

“I’m sure they have their reasons.”

 

“I guess.”

 

“So what about you?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“How did they trick you into this?” Brian asked, stealing a chip from Jae’s plate

 

“Money,” Jae laughed. Unfortunately the money situation didn’t suddenly get better after you finish being a student. “I’ve had my eye on a new fender amp for a while now.”

 

“The sixty-four Custom Deluxe Reverb?”

 

“Yeah, a little out of my price range at the moment.”

 

“I have one,” Jae’s ears pricked up like a dog with the work _walkies._ Brian laughed at him. “You can have a go with it when we get back if you want?”

 

“You're serious?” 

 

“Yeah, why not?”

 

“Woah man, thanks.” This was weird, it was like they were slipping all too quickly back into their friendship. If they fall any faster Jae’s going to get whiplash.  “What’s the deal with that by the way?” 

 

“What’s the deal with what?” Brian asked through another mouthful of burger.

 

“Your apartment, the classy af furniture, the massive flat screen? The _butler?_ ”

 

“Well, you know, my job pays well.” The younger chuckled like he was sharing a joke, but Jae was really missing something.

 

“What’s your job?”

 

Brian looks at him like he’s joking, but his expression slowly deadpans when he realises that Jae is nothing but serious.

 

“Are you kidding me?”

 

“What? Am I missing something obvious?”

 

“I’m a singer, I got my big break, what, nine months ago?” Brian looks for some kind of recognition in Jae’s expression, but “Nothing? Really? Jeez man, I thought you liked good music.”

 

The insult went over Jae’s head completely as he was too busy trying to make sense of Brian’s confession.

 

“Wait, if you’re telling the truth--” Brian rolled his eyes “Why weren’t we being chased down the street? You’re not even wearing a mask?” 

 

“I’m bigger in America. All my songs are in English so people didn’t particularly buy into them at first in Korea,” The younger replied matter of factly, swallowing the last mouthful of his burger, “People _know_ me here, but I’m not an idol or anything, so I’m not so much of a big deal, which is perfect because I can do whatever I want and not get ambushed.”

 

“Like running a gym class? Is that just for the bants?” Jae let out a disbelieving laugh.

 

“Ah, no. That I’m doing for a friend.”

 

Jae nods. 

 

“But hold on, I listen to American music, how come I’ve never heard of you? Why haven't Sungjin or Wonpil said anything about you?”

 

“Think about it Jae, who in the history of _ever,_ has wanted to hear that their ex is succeeding in life?”

 

_But you’re different. You’re not just an ex._

 

Jae manages to stop himself before those words slipped out. Instead:

 

“Hmm, fair point.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not the biggest fan of this chapter, it's going to be kind of bitty like this for a while bc i gatta plan to stick to hopefully it'll all work out in the end hehehe
> 
> also if you found any "Brain"s instead of "Brian" sorryyyyyyy I wrote most of this chapter on my phone


	3. five to ten

 

 

**hour 6**

 

By the time they’d arrived back at Brian's apartment after stopping by Jae's to pick up some overnight things, the younger had decided that it was Jae's turn to choose the running order of the next few hours.

 

Which is why they're now sat on Brian's too-big leather sofa, watching netflix on the too-big flat screen television. 

 

Well, he might as well make the most of it.

 

The sofa was big enough for them both to spread out and not be touching at all, even with the handcuffs in place. However Jae had misplaced where he'd planted his butt originally, and they’ve ended up with their thigh's touching, arms touching, Jae could hear Brian's little puffs of breath, and none of this was in any way, shape, or form, good for Jaehyung's heart. He couldn’t move now though, it might be seen as a sign of backing out by his rival. Jae will _not_ lose.

 

It was also inconceivably difficult to subtly search something (read: someone) on the internet without the person next to you noticing. 

 

He'd tried all the tricks; tilting his phone away; turning the brightness down. Maybe he was just paranoid.

 

But he _needed_ to look up Brian.

 

By the sounds of it, he had about a year worth of Brian's  _singer/songwriter_ shenanigans to catch up on, and whilst his chest was aching at the thought of it, his brain had control at that moment, and _damn_ was his brain curious.

 

Coming to the conclusion that he would definitely get caught, Jae resorted to subtle (he hoped) prodding for information instead.

 

As Brian sighed sleepily from beside him, Jae cleared his throat.

 

“So--” --cue unsubtle clearing of throat-- “--what’ve you been up to recently?"

 

The silence between them had been almost comfortable before, but the sentence seemed to drag out a sense of awkwardness.

 

"Um," Brian looked up at Jae, blinking slightly in that adorable way he did (wait, what?), just like he always used to when he woke from a nap. "Not much. I got back from America recently."

 

Jae nodded waiting for him to continue.

 

Brian let out a small laugh and looked down at their attached wrists, but his eyes glazed over, like he wasn’t actually seeing them. 

 

"Hyung do you remember Don and Terry from that time we went to LA? We met up again and had a small reunion. They asked about you.”

 

Don and Terry: Brian’s best friends from when he’d lived in Toronto. Jae had met them when he and Brian had travelled to LA for a couple of weeks to visit Jae’s family. 

 

“What did you say?”

 

“Well I didn’t tell them the truth. They almost definitely would’ve hunted you down and smothered you in your sleep.” He let out a humourless laugh.

 

The sound of the television took over the room. Some dumb cartoon that Jae didn’t even know the name of.

 

“You know, you never actually let me explain--”

 

“--nope, we’re not doing this now.” Brian shifted quickly, standing up so suddenly that the handcuffs pulled sharply into Jae’s wrist.

 

“But I--”

 

“No. You said you wanted to try out the new Fender, right? Come on, you can play around in the music room. You’ll be like a kid at Disneyland.”

 

Jae wanted to say no. He wanted to tell the younger that he needed to tell him what really happened. He needed to take the chance that he didn’t think he’d ever get. 

 

But the rational part of him didn’t want to ruin how far they’d come, in just six hours together. Sure, maybe some of it was forced, maybe him and Brian could never be like they were, not even when they were just friends. But this was close. And the selfish part of Jae’s brain told him to run with it.

 

“Sure man,” Jae said, pretending to recover quickly and standing up with a bounce. “Lead the way.”

 

Brian didn’t hold onto his wrist this time. The metal dug sharply into his skin, undoubtedly doing the same to the younger.

 

But he didn’t say anything.

 

The corridor he was led down was lit only from the sunlight streaming through the blinds, throwing stripes of yellow over Brian’s face as he strode past, the specs of dust shifting and catching the glow occasionally. Jae squinted to read the messy hangul written on the packed cardboard boxes that lined the hallway.

 

_‘from Canada’_

 

_‘unassigned cables’_

 

_‘stuff from mom’_

 

They looked like they’d been therea while.

 

“When did you move in?”

 

In front of him Brian shrugged nonchalantly. “Six months ago? I’m barely here so, I never got round to completely unpacking.”

 

“Oh, so you go to America a lot?” 

 

“Well, yeah. But even when I’m in Korea, I usually stay elsewhere.”

 

Jae felt his stomach drop.

 

Stupid.

 

Of course Brian had a partner. He was at least seeing someone.

 

_It’s been nearly two years Jae, get over yourself. Just because you swore off relationships, doesn’t mean that he did too._

 

He let out a stiff laugh.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Brian hummed and Jae’s heart sunk lower. “Here we are.” 

 

They'd come to a halt in front of a door that looked exactly like all the other polished oak doors in the house.

 

Brian pushed it open, and Jae's eyes nearly popped out of his head. 

 

The room was simple, musky - like it was rarely visited, fairly small and painted white, and similarly to the corridor, the sunlight was streaming in through the half-closed blinds. 

 

But the contents of the room, Jae had never seen anything like it, not even in a music shop. Lining one wall were posters, the classics, Jimmy Hendrix, Brian May, as well as a giant chalkboard with chords and experimental strumming patterns scribbled over it haphazardly. The was a five piece drum kit in the corner of the room, brushes and different sticks littering the space around it. Amplifiers and speakers were in abundance and one miss-step could have your foot hooked on a carelessly placed cable, and your nose getting carpet burn.

 

On the opposite wall hung six of the most beautiful guitar’s Jae had ever seen. A vintage electric in the corner with a gorgeous mahogany body, a shiny, new classical, as well as an obviously older, more used semi acoustic. The acoustic bass looked like it had just arrived from the factory, whilst the last two in the line up, an electric bass and an old acoustic, looked like they’re been used so much that they were nearing their dying days.

 

The old acoustic made Jae’s heart ache. He distinctively remembers meeting up with Brian a few weeks into them admitting their relationship to their friends, to find him with a suspiciously guitar shaped object slung over his back in a black soft case, saying he wanted to rehash the love for playing that he had as a teenager. The entire time that were together, Brian had never let Jae listen until he’d finished learning a song, and even that he always got really shy and tried to get out of it. But Brian didn’t know that the times Jae went to visit Brian, only to get there and hear his boyfriend strumming and singing, he’d wait on the other side of the front door and listen, not wanting to disturb or make him embarrassed. Jae longed of those moments again, sitting with his back against the front door to that apartment, eyes shut, smile soft, letting Brian’s voice take over.

 

Brian had an incredible voice. It never failed to give him goosebumps.

 

Jae was almost jealous that he’d decided to share it with the world. 

 

 

Brian watched the elder’s face as his eyes examined the room. His lips tilted into a small smile. His heart pulled against his chest.

 

“Go wild.” he waved his (none handcuffed) arm almost like a means of allowing Jae entrance. 

 

He immediately ran for the semi acoustic, Brian following closely to avoid the sting of metal against their skin. He didn’t hold Jae’s wrist. Within a minute Jae had gotten it plugged in to the shiny new fender amp, and was perched on a chair. Brian stretched for the drum stool and brought it next to Jae.

 

“You’re going to have to move closer so I can actually strum this thing.”

 

Right.

 

The handcuffs were on Jae’s right wrist, and Brian’s left, so he’d have to keep his hand right next to Jae’s so he could play.

 

He cautiously shifted his stool closer. 

 

Jae went to strum, but the handcuffs caught on the tailpiece and he hissed as they dug into his wrist again.

 

Brian shuffled closed still.

 

“Look, I appreciate the offer to try this, Brian, but this isn’t going to work--”

 

Jae’s hand was suddenly engulfed in Brian’s, the younger’s palm resting atop the back of it.

 

“Try now, hyung.”

 

Brian could feel Jae’s wide eyes on him, he could hear the load swallow and out the corner of his eye he could see his adams apple bob. But he couldn’t look up, he’d almost definitely break.

 

Jae didn’t say anything and simply went to strum. Brian kept his arm relaxed so that the elder still had full control. It was a difficult angle for him to maintain, but well…

 

He was whipped.

 

Still. Even after everything.

 

Park Jaehyung was his first love, and he’s not sure that he can ever let go of that.

 

Jae bashed through some odd verses and choruses of some popular songs, some Brian recognised from Jae playing them, or listening to them when they were together, some he’d never heard at all. When he played it was almost like he was in a world of his own, shutting his eyes and humming a melody over chords or finger picking, oblivious to Brian watching him.

 

After the fifth song, he reached for his phone, clicking on the camera and started filming. He had to keep reminding himself that he was here, sitting, playing guitar with Jae for a reason, as much as he resented being tricked into it, he was really grateful to Sungjin and Wonpil.

 

“This is incredible.”

 

“Hmm?” Brian quickly tried to snap out of his little daze.

 

“This amp, the sound quality… just, wow. Have you ever used it on stage?”

 

“Not yet, we tend to just use the company equipment for concerts.”

 

“Man you should totally try it out sometime. I know _I’d_ love hearing songs through this.” Jae smiled softly, untangling himself from the guitar strap, and before Brian knew it, the guitar was on his lap.

 

“Go on then. Play one of your songs--” --Jae raised a challenging eyebrow-- “--impress me.”

 

Brian audibly gulped. 

 

He quickly rearranged their positions. It was easier now, Brian’s handcuffed hand was on the fret board so Jae didn’t have to move his wrist too much. 

 

Without thinking about what [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsxR4sfunBI) to play, Brian began.

 

_Since you left,_

_It’s been a while_

_But even when you weren’t here_

_I always had you by my side_

 

_Every day is the same, I’m running around a wheel_

_I really hope this feeling changes_

_Not having what you want_

_makes your heart hurt, I’m only human_

 

_I guess this is what they call a habit_

_In an empty room with no one inside_

_I’m waiting for you to come back_

 

_My hand’s habit of touching you_

_My lip’s habits that called you_

_I’m calling out to you in the empty air_

_I’m reaching out to find you_

_You became my habit_

_Became my habit_

 

_Even though you changed, I haven’t changed_

_You remain in me_

_You became my habit_

 

 

The final chord almost echoed around the room. Jae watched as Brian’s eyelids fluttered, like he was unsure whether to open them, whether he wanted to see the elder's reaction. 

 

Jae quickly blinked away the wetness in his eyes, composing himself and dragging his gaze away from the younger’s profile. 

 

The song was an upbeat one, Brian strumming quickly with his foot tapping on the floor, but the lyrics, tugged at your heart and made you think twice, not to mention the tone of the younger’s singing voice. The longing and emotion he managed to throw at the listener was astounding. 

 

“Nice key change.” Jae smiled, an attempt to relieve some of the tension in the air. “Very Westlife-y”

 

Brian let out a loud genuine laugh. “Right? Westlife fanboy over here.”

 

“Don’t knock it til you try it.” Jae joked back, glad that the mild strain in the air had eased. “Good song though, did you write it yourself?” 

 

“I write all my songs.” The younger replied, borderline offended that Jae had even had to question that.

 

“Okay man, chill--” Jae couldn’t hold back his teasing grin, “--it’s just last time we met you were all Jason Mraz and Justin Bieber covers.”

 

“Take that back right now,” Brian gasped, putting the guitar on the floor and making to (gently) thump Jae on the shoulder. “I’ve never covered a Bieber song in my life.”

 

“You’re not denying Mraz though.”

 

The laughter and joking between them was like deja vu, back to when they’d just met, just past the awkward _can-I-call-you-my-friend-yet_ stage, and a good few months off the _I-think-I-_ like _-like-you stage_ , the jokes still hesitant and cautious, but both having the time of their lives. 

 

“Okay man,” Brian says as he get’s his breath back. “I have good news and I have bad news.”

 

“Bad news first.”

 

“I need to piss.” 

 

Jae rolled his eyes. “Dude, how much did you drink?”

 

“Hey we've been stuck in these for nearly seven hours already, you’re lucky I've held it in as long as I have.”

 

“Whatever, I can just stand outside and you can stretch to pee.”

 

Brian gave him a look and silently stood up, taking Jae’s wrist and leading him out the room, back out to the corridor, and to an identical door in the opposite direction. 

 

“Afraid not.” The younger pushed open the door to reveal the grandest bath room Jae has ever seen with his own two eyes. Marble surfaces, double sized shower, the softest looking towels ever--

 

And a toilet on the completely opposite side of the room to the door. A good five metres away.

 

“… What’s the good news.”

 

“Yeah, I lied. There isn’t any.”

 

Sigh. 

 

Romance is dead.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**hour 8**

 

 

Neither of them had ever been incredible cooks, but this was getting ridiculous.

 

“AAAHHH!”

 

“What now?”

 

“That was my hand you just splashed boiling hot oil on.”

 

“ _I_ didn’t splash it, your hand just got too close to the frying pan.”

 

“Yeah, because it’s attached to your hand.”

 

“Well then why didn’t I get burned?”

 

Brian was just as infuriating as Jae remembered.

 

Jae was just as much of a drama queen as Brian remembered.

 

“Why are we even trying to cook? I bet you have enough money to order the most expensive take out food out there, and not even notice a difference in your bank account.”

 

“We need more entertaining content for Sungjin. You want to get paid don't you?”

 

“ _Yeah_ , I just don’t want to suffer third degree burns in doing so.”

 

Brian rolled his eyes. “It’s nearly done now anyway.”

 

Jae huffed beside him. 

 

Once they’d dished up their American-style pancakes with bacon and syrup (Jae’s request, he was feeling nostalgic for home okay?), they settled on the couch again, thankfully slightly further apart than last time. Brian switched on some popular drama that Jae hadn’t bothered to keep up with, and they both wolfed down their food in mutual silence. 

 

“Do you think we should maybe reply to Dowoon yet?”Jae said over his last mouthful of bacon.

 

With their failure to contact the kid, he’d managed to find Jae’s twitter and consequently, Jae’s phone had been pinging all evening, both of them just choosing to ignore him for now. 

 

“Meh, why bother. It’s not like we’re not filming anything, we literally just filmed the entire shambles that was us trying to cook.”

 

“True.”

 

“We’ll see him at Jinyoung’s party anyway.”

 

“He knows Jinyoung?”

 

“Yep. Sungjin and Wonpil will be there too, no doubt they’ll have their cameras,  _‘just in case.’_ ”

 

Brian used is fingers to make air quotations.

 

During Jae’s and Brian’s friendship and their subsequent relationship, Sungjin and Wonpil had filmed their every move. Well that was a bit of an exaggeration. But they filmed enough to edit into _Jaehyungparkian Cute Moments_ compilations for their birthday’s and christmas presents. It was almost definitely insane and borderline stalk-y.

 

They’d let them off though. The videos were cute.

 

Sungjin and Wonpil had just met, encountering each other at Buzzfeed, both in small, part time admin jobs before they slowly worked their way up, then finding out that they were both taking the same course at the same University, just in different years. They’d hit it off immediately, the kind of people who just click. No drama, no complications, just two people perfect together. 

 

But the two together had enjoyed creating drama, as mild as it was. Wonpil had been Jae’s roommate at the time, and introduced him to Sungjin’s roommate, Brian, conspiring behind their backs and plotting to get them to meet because _‘they’d be perfect together’_. Jae and Brian had fought it at first, determined to prove their two stubborn friends wrong and keep their friendship simple. Jae hadn’t even known if Brian liked guys or not. It led to a lot of sleepless nights, and some stray tears and sobs in Wonpil’s comforting arms, making him feel guilty and sorry for starting the whole thing. Alas, as Wonpil said _“Nothing can prove fate wrong, hyungs.”_

 

_“_ What time are we heading out then?” Jae asked, carefully licking the last bit of syrup off his knife.

 

“Ten? Don’t want to seen too keen.”

 

“Okay, sounds reasonable.”

 

“Plus, we need to get shower and get ready first.”

 

Jae blushed. Now was not the time for his imagination to get carried away with how they were each going to shower in that huge bathroom.

 

Brian raised his eyebrow suggestively before turning back to the oversized TV screen and ungracefully shoving his last piece of pancake in his mouth. 

 

Jae’s heart was getting weaker and weaker by the second.

 

How he was going to survive tonight, he really didn’t know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you might be able to tell that I know very little about guitars, I play brass not strings lmao
> 
> also I think i caught all the Brainss and Jakes this time but if anyone spots on pls tell me and I'll fix it
> 
>  
> 
> juicy stuff's coming uuuppppppp


	4. ten to fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nearly 4,500 words arghhh

 

 

**hour 10**

 

They’d ended up having to call Dowoon after realising there was physically no way to get out of their clothes otherwise. Upon his arrival to the apartment, they’d received an earful of grief for not replying to his messages, to which they both rolled their eyes. When he’d discovered that they needed him to unlock the cuffs so they can undress for a shower, a worryingly sadistic grin appeared on Dowoons face. He proceeded to unlock them, let Brian take his shirt off, before he re-locked the handcuffs, set up a strategically placed camera, and ran from the room fearing for his innocence.

 

And right now, Jae was fearing for his innocence.

 

"So I literally have to stand here whilst you shower?"

 

"Unless you want to join--"

 

"--I just mean," Jae interrupted before his entire face turned bright scarlet, "There is literally nothing but a fairly translucent curtain covering... everything."

 

Jae felt ultimately betrayed by his body as he felt the heat spread across his face, right to the tips of his ears.

 

"You can give in if you want? Dowoon and the key to freedom are only a room away.” Brian's voice had meant to be teasing, but Jae knew that it hadn't quite felt right to say. Jae knew Brian, he'd loved Brian, he knew when he was being sincere.

 

Like Jae, Brian didn't want them to separate now, they had to have at least the twenty four hours together, as if it's their last. 

 

In short, Brian didn't want Jae to break, didn't want him to give up. 

 

But for the sake of Brian's pride, and in pretence that they were still under this _'we're doing this as a competition'_ kind of spell, Jae pretended he didn't see the doubt behind Brian's teasing eyes.

 

"Shut up, I'm not some innocent fifteen year old."

 

"Oh, I know." 

 

Smirk smirk smirk.

 

Brian Kang, who is he? We only know a Brian Smirk.

 

Yet, again Jae had to pretend that he didn't see the relief wash over the younger's face.

 

“Whatever, just be quick.” Jae heard the water turn on, shortly afterwards, a pair of navy blue boxers landed in front of him - Brian chucked them over the curtain rail.

 

His cuffed hand was only just inside the shower area, but it was still being sprayed with water. He tried really hard not to think about the person showering literally inches from him.

 

Brian started humming softly to himself and Jae's heart swelled. Brian was so cute.

 

He tried not to think about that either.

 

Needing a distraction, he used his free hand hand to pull his phone out of his back pocket, when an idea suddenly hit him.

 

_Now_ he could search Brian. 

 

Jae glanced back at the figure through the pristine white shower curtain, the silhouette was faint but again, he tried not to think about it. 

 

H e had about five minutes, maximum.

 

Typing quickly with one hand was not a problem for Jae - he puts it down to his multitasking abilities he’d gained from work. Bashing out a text to Sungjin whilst keying in the right order on the cash machine was a skill acquired, okay, no one was born with those kinds of powers.

 

Jae frowned when nothing immediately obvious appears on Naver.

 

Ah, Brian had said he was more popular in America.

 

He hastily opens a new tab and Googles _Brian Kang_.

 

**_Young K taking over the American rock scene_ **

 

**_Sold out shows across the nation, Korean artist Young K making his mark on the U.S._ **

 

**_Nominations for Billboard Top New Artist, Alessia Cara, Lukas Graham, Young K_ **

 

Young K?

 

That name sounded familiar to him, something his colleagues had mentioned once, Jae remembered thinking that it was a dumb-ass stage name.

 

He clicked on the first link - it was the most recently published, and a fairly low-grid music website appeared on his phone screen, on it was a picture of Brian, an action shot of him playing his guitar with the true aggressively passionate look of a rockstar.

 

Jae blinks at the photo. Brian’s hair is longer than Jae’s used to, more like a typical rockstar’s length, but it was a lilac-y silver, not unlike a kpop idol’s. His skin has a blue glow in areas because of the lights, but Jae can tell that his face is paler than usual, probably make up, and there was a thin circle of dark eyeliner around each eye. The loose sleeveless shirt he’s wearing shows off his arms perfectly. Suddenly Jae’s throat is dry.

 

He scrolls down to read the caption.

 

_Young K turning heads at the FYF Fest in L.A. August 2016_

 

Brian was Young K? Young K was Brian?

 

He kept scrolling.

 

_Young K, known by his friends and family as Brian Kang, flew into the U.S. charts in June 2016 with his album_ The Day _, his title track Habits making it’s way into the top 20 at number 16, almost unheard of for a up and coming artist._

_At 21 years old, Brian signed with a small American record company in Seoul, South Korea, where he lives and where most of the writing for the debut album took place._

_In an interview last September Young K talked about his debut album_ The Day _in depth for the first time, stating that “This album has become what changed my life, but ironically,  it’s the story of what tore my life in two.”_

_Needless to say, the album is emotional, the lyrics raw, and ready, and from the heart. He’s never revealed the whole story to us, but then again, has any artist ever. It’s left to our interpretation. We just hope that Brian’s life has stitched itself back together again._

_But what’s next for Young K? He told fans on his twitter last month that he would be taking the first few months of 2017 off to write, before his sold out U.S. tour which kicks off on April 16th in L.A.._

 

“Jae?”

 

Shit. Jae’s phone slipped out of his hand, thankfully landing on the soft rug under his feet rather than the cold hard tiles of the rest of the bathroom. He whipped his head round to see Brian peeking out from the curtain, his face mere inches for Jae’s.

 

“Jae?” Brian grinned at the way Jae gulped under his gaze. Jae kicked himself for being so obvious. 

 

“Hmm?” He didn’t trust himself to give a coherent answer. 

 

“I asked if you could pass me a towel.”

 

“Oh, right--” --Jae looked over at the radiator next to him, the only thing that was in reach with Brian still safety behind the curtain, even if he stretched. No towels. 

 

Crap. Why hadn’t they thought to put one there before Brian undressed?

 

Brian, watching Jae’s little internal panic quietly asked “You good?”

 

“There are no towels. Not here at least, there’s some over by the sink.” Brian’s eyes widened slightly as he turned and glanced at the ceiling height towel rack by the sink. His small look of shock quickly morphed into a smirk. No surprises there.

 

“Lead the way.” 

 

“At least cover yourself.” Jae tried to channel a stern look but he could feel his blush rise as he spoke.

 

“With both hands?” Jae glanced down at their handcuffed wrists and realised what that would insinuate.“Very keen there, Jae.” Brian winked. He _winked._ And Jae’s brain chose that moment to fail him.

 

“You ass, shut up--” 

 

“--you know full well that it’s going to take more than one hand to cover--”

 

“--okay I get it!” If Jae wasn’t flustered before (he was), Brian’s insinuations had definitely made matters much worse. “Just walk behind me.”

 

“Sure, but you don’t know what you’re missing out on.”

 

Jae rolled his eyes and started to head over to the towels, when Brian’s hand wrapped around his own. It was like his fingers sent electric shocks through Jae’s body, all his hairs stood on end. 

 

He glanced backwards--making sure to keep his gaze at eye level--where he had come to a halt, Brian still behind him (and still very much naked).

 

Now it was Brian’s turn to look flustered. His eyes were wide and vulnerable. Jae had almost forgot that the uncertain side of him existed. The side that had waiting for Jae to confess first, the side that had quietly asked Jae if it was okay to kiss him at the end of their first date

 

“I, um--” --Brian’s eyes refused to meet his-- “--i-it’s so the metal doesn’t dig into our wrists.” 

 

Jae nodded. Slowly. 

 

They both knew that Jae didn’t buy that. They both knew that Jae knew Brian better than that. They both knew that Jae could always tell when Brian was lying.

 

But for the sake of god knows what at this point, neither of them mention it.

 

They finally reach the abundance of towels and Jae blindly throws one at Brian, before grabbing one for himself -- he is not reliving these last few minutes in the other position.

 

“DOWOON,” Brian yelled once he’d somehow managed to wrap the towel around his hips one handed, “It’s Jae’s turn!”

 

Jae rolled his eyes as Brian wiggled his eyebrows at him.

 

Brian only let go of his hand when Dowoon cautiously peaked his head in.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jae watched, somewhat mesmerised as Brian blended his eyeshadow. 

 

The younger chuckled lightly, very aware of Jae’s gaze. 

 

“You pick it up. The stylists aren’t at every show, so I learned the basics.”

 

He nodded, dumbfounded. Brian looked incredible. He’d dressed himself in a flowing, layered white shirt, with a white tie hanging loosely around his neck, along with a thin silver chain. His pants sculpted his legs perfectly. The black leather loafers he was wearing didn’t exactly look comfortable but they complimented the outfit brilliantly.

 

Jae had changed into another, slightly smarter oversized plaid shirt - pink and white this time, with faux leather jeans, really not the most comfortable, but it was the first thing he’d grabbed back at his flat. He’d thrown a thin black choker on and left his nearly white blonde hair in the soft, puffy ‘alpaca’ style it rests in after blow drying it. 

 

“I can do your make-up if you want?” Was Brian shy again? The hesitancy in his question made Jae blink at him. 

 

“Um--” --rarely was Jae at a loss for words, yet Brian seemed to destroy his brain’s capability to form a sentence. “I-if you want, I guess.”

 

Brian’s face lit up. He immediately started shuffling through his small stash of make-up in concentrated silence, occasionally pulling items out, staring at them intensely and putting them back in again. Jae hasn’t worn make up since he was in college, and even then he rarely wore a lot, just enough to get some heads turning when he was dragged out to clubs by his friends, and after that, sometimes when he went for dates with Brian.

 

The younger seemed to find what he was looking for because Jae was suddenly turned and told to close his eyes. The tickle of the make-up brush on his eyelid was unfamiliar, but he was focusing more on Brian’s puffs of breath so close to his face. 

 

He kind of couldn’t believe this was happening— only twelve hours ago, he was still under the impression that he would never see Brian again, and yet here he was. 

 

The universe was really fucking weird. 

 

After a good five minutes on each eye, Jae with his eyes still closed, couldn’t feel or hear anything else going on.

 

Confused, he opened them. 

 

Jae’s heart swelled with the way that Brian was staring at him, in the split second before the younger hastily retreated.

 

So he pretended he didn’t see it. But he couldn’t stop the small upturn of his lips.

 

“Done.” Brian mumbled, distracting himself by unnecessarily rearranging the unlit candles on the table.

 

Jae looked in the mirror. Brian had done a pretty damn good job. He’d used different subtle tones of pink eyeshadow on Jae’s lids, the colours matching his shirt perfectly. There was a smudge of black eyeliner over the edge of his lids and a tiny blended dot of white glittery highlight on the corner of his inner eye.

 

“Woah! Word of advice: stop paying for a stylist, man. _You_ could be a stylist.”

 

Brian laughed and like that, the tension was erased. 

 

“I think I’ll stick to the singing. Come on, we’d better grab Dowoon and head off.” 

 

“Okay. Ah, wait let me just grab my glasses--”

 

“--you don’t need them.”

 

Jae was slightly thrown off at Brian’s rather blunt statement, unsure of quite how to respond. How do you say _‘you leaving me ruined my self esteem and I use these glasses that I don’t even need anymore as a defence mechanism, a hiding place, a safety net’_ without sounding completely pathetic.

 

“N-no, but I--”

 

“--do you think I don’t know why you wear them Jae? I know you're insecure, I know that you don’t think you’re handsome enough, but you don’t need your 'comfort zone glasses', you don’t need oversized hoodies, or coats that drown you. You need to be able to see yourself for what you are. You’re beautiful, Jae.”

 

Jae stood in stunned silence.

 

His mouth was definitely wide open.

 

Brian’s warm eyes locked with his own. They were way too close and Brian could probably hear Jae’s heartbeat going at lightning speed in his chest.

 

Jae's eyes flicked down to Brian's lips.

 

“GUYS!!” Dowoon’s deep yell shook them out of… what ever it was they were in. “WE NEED TO GET GOING ALREADY!”

 

Dowoon sounded thoroughly done with them. 

 

One final, glance at each other and they made their way to the front door where Dowoon was waiting for them, tapping his foot impatiently.

 

Jae didn’t grab his glasses.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**hour 11**

 

Jinyoung’s party wasn’t in his house like Jae had expected, but in one of the high end club-slash-lounges in Gangnam that had a dumb, minimalistic name. The room was heaving, despite the sign on the door reading _PRIVATE FUNCTION._  Jinyoung must’ve gained some friends since Jae knew him in college. 

 

The taxi ride had been awkward between him and Brian, kind of like they’d back peddled. It didn’t help that a very unamused Dowoon had squashed into the taxi on the other side of Jae. 

 

The close proximity to Brian in the enclosed space was enough to drive the older insane. His scent, perfume mixed with his natural _Brian_ smell (sounds creepy but he didn't care at this point,) was incredible and Jae was trying _so_ freaking hard to stay chill about the whole situation.

 

Even now, they’re in the club, Brian pushing through the crowds looking for Jinyoung, Jae trailing awkwardly behind him, he couldn’t take his eyes off of him. It’s like when they first met all over again. 

 

“Brian!! You made it--” --Jinyoung’s eyes landed on Jae-- “--what the fuck?”

 

“Nice to see you too, Jinyoung.” Jae pulled a face that he’d like to think was somewhat sarcastic, he just hopes the ‘mood lighting’ of the club disguised the blush that crept up his face.

 

Jinyoung caught sight of the handcuffs, squinted down at them, then back up at the two ex-lovers, standing side by side with matching expression of embarrassment.

 

Dowoon finally appearing from the crowd with a camera pointing at them was the last straw and Jinyoung lost it. 

 

His screeching laughter cut through the music and had too many people looking in their direction.

 

The pair glanced at each other, equally unamused.

 

“Man,” Jinyoung croaked as he finally got his breath back, “What has Mark gotten you into this time?”

 

“You don’t wanna know.” Brian rolled his eyes and led Jinyoung (intentionally), and Jae (unwillingly) over to the empty couch behind them. “Anyway, happy birthday.”

 

“Thanks,”

 

Jae zoned out of the conversation then, his mind focusing on nothing but the way that Brian’s hand had found it’s way to his upper thigh and was squeezing slightly. He glanced down to see that the younger had hidden his cuffed hand under Jae’s oversized shirt on his upper thigh. 

 

The sensation was going straight to his dick. 

 

He tried wiggling subtly, very aware that a camera was still pointed at them, but if anything, it made Brian’s grip tighten. 

 

Jae’s face was almost definitely bright pink by the time Brian turned to him. Jae gulped as the other leaned in and whispered, hot breath hitting Jae's neck.

 

“This is okay, right? I will stop if you want me to.”

 

Those words struck Jae’s heart. All these months he’s resented himself, resented Brian, hated that he left without letting Jae tell him what happened. The one day Jae probably needed him most, and he disappeared. He’s spent all this time thinking that Brian’s heart must’ve frozen over, that any compassion the boy possessed had vanished.

 

Yet here they were, all these months later, Brian checking that it was okay to touch him.

 

And boy, did a part of Jae’s brain want to say no, the part that was still hurt from that day, the part that told him he could never forgive the younger, the part that had convinced him that he’d moved on.

 

Thankfully, that part was on temporary hiatus and Jae just about managed to choke out a _“Y-Yes. This is f-fine.”_

 

 

 

Brian smirked. Truthfully, he’d wanted to do this since Jae sat slightly too close on the couch earlier, but here and now, the atmosphere of the club had finally given him the confidence he needed.

 

“Hey guys.”

 

_Shit._

 

The metal chain between the cuffs clinked noisily as Brian moved his hand from Jae’s thigh at the speed of light. As Sungjin and Wonpil approached, Jae’s head turned lazily to Brian, as if in a daze. 

 

Sungjin handed them both a glass of coke and, judging from the smell, a shot of spirit of some variety, and threw himself onto the couch beside Jae, Wonpil carefully perching atop his boyfriend’s lap. 

 

“How’s it going then?” Sungjin asked. Jae caught his eye and subconsciously pulled his shirt further over his lap. 

 

Brian glanced at Jae, unsure of how to play this. Should he act like everything is shit and this was the worst trick the couple could’ve ever pulled on them? Or should they act like everything is perfect, that they’ve made up - _have_ they made up?

 

Beside him Jae just shrugged nonchalantly. It made Brian’s chest sting slightly. 

 

“It’s… _going_.”

 

“Ever the articulate one hyung.” Wonpil snickered. “What Sungjin really means is have we gotten much footage for the video?”

 

Both Brian and Wonpil know that’s really not what Sunjin had actually meant. Months of checking up on Jae through the boy’s roommates told Brian that this wasn’t all just for some dumb video. 

 

When Brian and Jae broke up, lost contact, whatever you want to call it, Brian had cut himself off from all their mutual friends too. That is until Jae drunk-dialled him one night about three weeks after he left, sobbing down the phone. It had broken his heart. It was all _“I’m so sorry Bri,” “It was a misunderstanding,” “I love you Brian,_ you _.”_ By the end of it Jae was sobbing so chaotically, that all his words jumbled together and he was just making noises. Having said nothing throughout the entire twenty minute call, Brian had hung up as the salty water started to leak out over his cheeks, with a simple _“Goodnight, Jae.”_

 

After that Brian had gotten in touch with Sungjin, told him what happened that night and made sure he checked up on Jae. The updates had been few to begin with; Sungjin was probably unsure as to how much detail to go into, not wanting to hurt Brian or invade Jae’s privacy. But after a few months, as Jae started getting better, Sungjin, and Wonpil who was in on it by that point too, opened up more. They told him about his hoodies and his blonde hair and his ‘comfort zone glasses, about his rebounds, his one night stands, the first real date he went on after Brian. 

 

That made Brian realise what he was doing to himself. He was hurting himself by watching Jae move on through someone else’s eyes. He asked them to stop with the updates, he’d gone to America for summer to play at some festivals and that had been the end of that. When the three of the met up after that, they didn't talk about Jae. 

 

That’s why it was such a shock seeing Jae on his couch this morning. His emotions went into defence formation and subsequently switched his anger on. He hadn't meant to be so abrupt and heartless. It was all just a bit too much for him.

 

“We have footage.” Brian said when Jae stayed silent. “I don’t know why you’re asking, Dowoon is literally there filming this interaction.” He points at Dowoon to prove his point, who then looks behind him confused. Brian rolls his eyes.

 

“So why are you doing this then?” Jinyoung joins the conversation again, his eye brow quirked. “Is this some kind of kinky shit that Mark set you up to so you get more noona fans--”

 

“Mark? As in LA Mark?” Jae asked, confusion shaping his features, “What does he have to do with anything?”

 

“He’s my manager.”

 

“ _Mark?_ Mark who smoked weed everyday for three years? You’ve given him responsibility over your career.” Jae raised his eyebrows. “You’re brave.”

 

“Normally he’s brilliant, but, gotta say, after this--” --he waved his cuffed arm in the air, dragging Jae’s up with it-- “--i’m starting to think you might be right.

 

He didn’t notice the way Jae’s shoulders sagged, or the downtrodden look Wonpil and Sungjin shared, because Jinyoung started asking questions again.

 

Even once they’d explained the concept of the video to the birthday boy, his brows were still furrowed in a confused expression.

 

“So you’ve got to go about your day as normal…” Jinyoung said slowly, “Then Mr Brian Kang, why the fuck are you sat on a couch when there is a dance floor three feet away. And you--” --Jae’s eyes widened as the focus turns to him-- “--if you, Jae Park, are anything like you were in college, you should be drunk and passed out on Bri-- um, someone’s lap within the next hour.”

 

“It’s kind of hard to dance with someone when you’re attached to someone else.” Jae declared. Brian’s heart sunk. Looks like he wont be dancing with Jae tonight after all. 

 

“Use your imagination, Park.” Jinyoung pushed Brian up from his seat, forcing Jae up too. “Now, go forth. Party, drink, fuck. I don't give a shit, just fucking have some fun.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

**hour 13**

 

Not to be dramatic, but this was painful. Both physically and emotionally. 

 

After they’d been commanded to have fun, the two ex-lovers downed a couple of shots in silence--it was hard to hear anything over the music anyway.

 

It hadn’t taken long for a girl to approach Brian once they’d gotten to the dance floor. He’d looked nervously in Jae’s direction, almost asking for permission. Jae had just nodded then looked away quickly. About two minutes later, a tall, handsome, _arms-like-fucking-machines_ guy started dancing behind Jae, holding his hips and swaying in time with him. The worst thing about it was that Jae has his eyes closed and a big smile on his face.

 

That was seven songs ago. The girl Brian was dancing with had eventually become disinterested, bored of Brian paying her no attention, and had gone to find someone else. They’d stood in a fairly crowded area, so it was much less obvious that they were cuffed, but with each movement, if Brian didn’t time it right, the metal pulled on their wrists. Brian wouldn’t be surprised if they had a bright pink indents in their arm because of it -- it’s not like they could hold hands whilst Jae was grinding up on someone else.

 

Speaking of which, Brian had been surprised with how good his restraint was. Every fibre of his body was telling him to get that jerk off of Jae. He had to keep reminding himself that Jae was a free man now, he’s got to respect him as an individual and all that (really very important) jazz. Thankfully it hadn’t been impossible, because they’d only been lightly grinding on each other up until song five. 

 

It was when the guy’s hands slipped from his hips and started moving up under Jae’s shirt, that Brian started getting a little on edge. He kept his eyes locked on the older - he didn’t notice because his eyes were shut the entire time, and the other guy was too entranced by Jae to realise.

 

Brian is borderline ready to say fuck it and shout Dowoon over with the key, when he saw the guy run his tongue down Jae’s ear and pull his ear lobe between his teeth. 

 

“Fuck it.” 

 

Instead of calling Brian over he stands on Jae’s foot, rather harshly.

 

Jae’s eyes shot open as he hissed in pain.

 

“What the _fuck_ Brian?”

 

“I’m thirsty.” 

 

“Then go get a drink.” Jae was about to shut his eyes and continue dancing.

 

“Good idea.” Brian began off in the direction of the bar, fist clenched, anticipating the pull of metal.

 

“ _Fuck!_ ” He heard Jae yelp somewhere (close) behind him once the handcuffs pulled him along. He didn’t acknowledge the cursing until he was at the bar. 

 

“What was _that_ , Brian?” 

 

“You said I should get a drink.”

 

“You _know_ I’d forgotten about our predicament.”

 

“How can you forget when the metal digs into your wrist every time you move?”

 

“I had something much better digging into me.” Jae smirked raising a challenging eyebrow and Brian’s frustration grew. He took the shot that had just been placed in front of him and threw it back, face contorting as it burned his throat.

 

“Well, it couldn’t have been that great, because Brawny hasn’t chased after you has he.” Brian smirked back. “Another shot of whatever the hell that was please.” He shouted at the bartender, not breaking eye contact with Jae.

 

“One for me too.” Jae glared at him. 

 

Their intense stare only breaks when Jae screws his face up after throwing his shot back.

 

“That was fucking disgusting.”

 

“I know--” --Brian watched as Jae licked his lips, still grimacing, fondness bloomed in his chest-- “--wanna dance?”

 

Jae’s eyes shot to Brian’s face, searching his eyes for a second, before his lips turned up in a satisfied grin.

 

“Never thought you’d ask.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooooo exciting stuffs
> 
> smut next chapter look forward to it;)
> 
> again tysm for reading


	5. fifteen to twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo this is my first time writing smut.. pls be nice to me~~~

 

 

Sungjin taps the back of the taxi twice, signalling for it to set off now the pair were safely inside.

 

“Well,” He said as he turned to Wonpil, who’s eyes lingered on the taillights now halfway down the street. “Things are certainly going in the right direction.”

 

A small, almost sad smile grew on Wonpil’s face, as he shivered slightly from the late night breeze. “I just hope they don’t fuck up this chance, hyung.”

 

Sungjin smiled softly at his boyfriend. Sometimes he thinks there is no way he could be any more fond of the boy, but he always manages to be proved wrong.

 

He wraps his arms around Wonpil--the ultimate back hug, the slight height difference being enough to block out the chill. Sungjin plants a dramatic sloppy kiss to his boyfriends face, who responds with a jokily mock-disgusted expression. “You’re heart is so big Pillie. You’re so cute.”

 

“I’ll have you know, I’m the _cutest_.” Sungjin grins, his boyfriend’s smile infectious.

 

“Come on, I think it’s out turn to bust our moves on the dance floor.”

 

“Lord help me.”

 

“Hey--” Sunjin pokes Wonpil’s waist teasingly, “--what was I just saying about you being cute.”

 

Wonpil beams up at him. “Love you, hyung.”

 

Fondness blooms in Sungjins chest again.

 

“I love you too, you loser.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**hour 16**

 

“ _Fuck!_ Fucking _open_.”

 

“If you’re telling me we need to call your fucking butler right now, I’m out.”

 

“Shut up--”

 

“--just, chill. Rushing isn’t going to help things.”

 

Jae swatted Brian’s hands away from the key where it had been jammed, and was subsequently stuck in the door. He gave it a gentle wriggle as Brian huffed in frustration and fidgeted behind him. 

 

He pulled the key out a fraction and it turned easily. The lock clicked open.

 

“ _See_. I told you you just needed to--” Jae was cut off as large hands wrapped around his waist, pushing him into the apartment. Before he could register exactly what was happening -- his brain still slightly clouded by alcohol -- the slam of the door was echoing around the room and the slam of his body against the door was echoing around his head.

 

Jae smiled devilishly when he saw Brian’s expression.

 

“Eager are we?”

 

Brian responded by diving his head in for a messy kiss, teeth hitting teeth, but feeling _so_ _damn good._

 

Jae’s hands were above his head, both pinned to the wooden door by Brian’s cuffed hand, his other wrapped around Jae’s hips, pulling their crotches together, finally able to continue what they started in the club.

 

The pleasure that shot through Jae as Brian started grinding their hips together was almost too much, he pulled away from the kiss as much as he could, head against the door.

 

“Fuck Bri--” the younger stopped his train of thought as he moved to his neck and began to suck and bite. “ _Fuck!_ ”

 

Brian took that as his cue to continue. Still grinding his hips, half hard again, he let go of Jae’s wrists and unbuttoned the top few buttons of Jae’s shirt -- enough for it to hang off one shoulder, exposing a delicious looking collar bone and a dark perky nipple. 

 

Jae’s hip’s started involuntarily bucking upwards, searching for more friction as Brian’s tongue traced his nipple teasingly.

 

With the pleasure becoming almost overwhelming, Jae threw his head back, hitting his head on the door again, maybe a little too hard this time, as Brian’s eyes widened in panic, hands shooting up to cradle his head.

 

“ _Shit_ , Jae! Are you okay?”

 

Jae’s eyelids felt heavy, but he was ninety percent sure that that was simply from the alcohol in his system. But Brian seemed to notice and, typical caring Brian, his mind sent him the worst case scenario.

 

“Jae, shit! What if you have a concussion? Fuck, we should stop.”

 

His hand moved to pull Jae’s shirt back over his shoulder properly, but Jae was having none of it. He stretched out the arm with handcuffs attached so that Brian’s hand involuntarily moved away from the buttons, caught unawares.

 

Brian looked into Jae’s eyes, confused, but suddenly surprised as his saw the nature of the intense stare he was receiving.

 

“Brian Kang, if you don’t fuck me twelve ways to Sunday, I will naw your fucking arm off and leave with the handcuffs still attached, you hear me?”

 

He nodded, somewhat worried that he actually might.

 

“Just--lets go to your bed before I actually _do_ get concussion.”

 

 

Brian smiled softly. 

 

Taking Jae’s cuffed hand in his own, unable to stop the goosebumps, he lead him to his bedroom.

 

He didn’t bothering turning the light on, instead reaching over and turning the bedside lamp on, bathing the room in a yellow-ish glow. Brian turned and looked at Jae, wide eyes, gazing around the massive room. 

 

“Shit man, I keep forgetting you’re rich.”

 

“Forget it, it’s just a room. Anyway--” --Brian used his free hand to turn Jae’s face, and his gaze back to him-- “--I have an idea.”

 

Jae’s eyes followed him, confused as Brian crouched down and reached into a bag, searching blindly for something with one hand.

 

His expression turned darker as his fingers closed around the metal. 

 

“Huh?” Jae’s eyebrow raised as his eyes landed on the small camera, not recognising it as the one that Sungjin handed them yesterday, so one of Brian's own then. “What exactly are you insinuating, Mr Kang?”

 

“They want some juicy footage for the video?” Brian’s lips turned up at the corners, his eyes filling with _something._ Something that was seriously turning Jae on. “Well, we can give them a show.”

 

“I like how you think, Mr Kang.” With that, Jae crashed their mouths together, and it wasn't long before Brian’s tongue was in Jae’s mouth and the kisses were becoming more frantic and messy. It was when Brian roughly pulled Jae’s hips roughly into his own, that the older whined into his mouth, the sound going straight to Brian’s dick. 

 

He flipped their positions kicking his shoes off as he pushed Jae back onto the bed, staying close to accommodate for the handcuffs, but stopping to stare at the beauty in front of him for a second. 

 

Jae was out of breath, his chest moving up and down with each inhale and exhale. His shirt had slid off more of his shoulder, only stopping as it reached the crook of his elbow. The orange light cast a glow on Jae’s chest and stomach, where some more buttons had left his shirt undone to just above his belly button. A wave of pure need washed over Brian as his eyes connected with Jae’s again.

 

“Fuck Jae, do you know how much I’ve missed this?” 

 

“I have a pretty good idea.” With that, Jae wrapped his legs around Brian’s thighs, pulling him forward to lie over Jae. Instead of connecting their lips again, Brian went back to work on Jae’s nipples, giving the right one more attention, pulling the soft bud between his teeth and revelling in the sounds of Jae's whimpers and moans.

 

By now it was very clear that they were both hard, Jae’s leather pants leaving nothing to the imagination. Speaking of which--

 

“You have no fucking idea what these pants were doing to me all night, Jae!” Brian’s hands moved to unclasp the popper and unzip the fly, before he slipped his hand under the leather--

 

“--shit Jae, are you not wearing underwear?” Brian’s dick twitched in his own too-tight pants as Jae’s hips bucks, searching for friction.

 

“I f-forgot to bring some with me.”

 

“Fuck--” Brian thinks back to an hour ago, dancing at the party, his hips firmly pressed against Jae’s backside, half hard and palming at Jae’s erection, shortly prior to Sungjin and Wonpil had dragging them out of and shoving them in a taxi before they _“end up fucking on the dance floor.”_ The knowledge that there was just a thin piece of material separating his palm from Jae’s dick makes something pull in his stomach. “--you’re such a fucking tease.” 

 

“Look who’s talki--” Brian wraps his hand around Jae’s cock, “Fuck!” Jae throws his head back, exposing the glistening skin and he can’t help but go in for another taste of the elder’s neck. 

 

Once Jae regains his composure, the feeling of Brian stroking his dick and sucking marks onto his neck becoming more familiar, he tries again. “Look who’s fucking talking, grabbing my thigh like that in public,”

 

“Hmm,” Brian hums lips pecking the newly red area on Jae’s pale skin. “You should’ve seen your face.”

 

Jae whines, half frustrated, half needy, and the strain on Brian’s dick in his jeans becomes unbearable. He leans back, sitting comfortably on Jae’s thigh’s, it takes every ounce of self-restraint he has not to lean down and wrap his lips around Jae’s cock as it the head peeps out of his open pants. Instead he unbuttons his own, breathing out in slight relief as the tension lessens significantly, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to have skin against skin.

 

He quickly removed the tie from around his neck, and he took off the silver chain, placing it on his nightstand. He reached down to pull his shirt over his head, not unaware of Jae’s lust-filled eyes following his every move.

 

“Crap.”

 

Jae’s expression changed quickly and he burst into a fit of giggles, his laughter shaking Brian on top of him. Brian just stared down at the issue -- because of the handcuffs he couldn’t pull his shirt off, it was just hanging from his left wrist. He couldn’t help but laugh along with Jae, only they would end up in this fucking ridiculous situation.

 

“Just leave it,” Jae said once he’d gotten his breath back, but Brian wasn't letting any dumb piece of clothing distract him from the sight before him. Instead, he pulled the cuff to his mouth -- thankfully the fabric was thin -- and ripped, starting by holding it in his teeth and pulling, before the rip was big enough for him to use both hands. 

Jae's eyes were wide and he watched Brian throw the shirt to the side.

 

"I liked that shirt." Jae pouted, trying to hide how turned on he was by that whole scene.

 

Brian shrugged in response, "I like _you_ more."

Fuck.

Before Brian knew it he was being pulled in for a kiss. But this one was different, not entirely lust driven like the others, Jae was softer, more gentle, so Brian took the initiative and gently sucked on Jae’s bottom lip pulling back and almost going cross-eyed slightly, trying to gage Jae’s reaction in such a close proximity. “I’ve missed this so much.” His voice soft, almost a whisper, it pulled at Brian’s heart. _Don't fucking cry, idiot._

 

“Lets not waste anytime then.” Brian smiled sinisterly, pretending not to noticed what flashed behind Jae’s eyes, instead leaning forward and manoeuvring so he could strip himself down to just his boxers — more difficult with just one hand than you’d think. He seated himself back on Jae’s thighs and hand trace the faint lines on the elder’s stomach, Jae shivered beneath him, the slightest touch making him clutch at the sheets.

 

“We doing this like we always used to?”

 

“Fuck yes,” Jae moaned as Brain’s cuffed hand pulled against the chain to start stroking Jae’s cock teasingly, pulling it fully out of Jae’s pants, thumbing at the slit. Jae’s hips bucked again and his breath caught.

 

“You’re so needy, baby.” 

 

“Brian, _f-fuck_ you’re such a tease.” Jae whimpered.

 

“I’m the tease?” Brian pulls on Jae’s earlobe with his lips. “Am I the one that was pretending to enjoy letting a stranger practically dry hump him whilst I stood and watched?”

 

Jae smirked, “Were you jealous babe?” That earned him a harsh nip with Brian’s teeth. Yet again, it went straight to Jae's dick. “Ah! Fuck me Bri, _please_.”

 

It was Brian’s turn to look smug. He moved off and pulled at Jae's shoes, tossing them to the side, before sliding Jae’s leather pants off his legs.

 

The sight before him made him suddenly remember the camera, laying on the bed, forgotten in their haste. Brian quickly turn it on and pointed at the beautiful mess on his bed. Jae’s hair was tousled and matted with sweat: they hadn’t even done much yet, how wrecked will he look _after_? The bedside lamp cast the warm glow on Jae’s form, his torso nearly all exposed now, only two buttons remaining closed on his shirt, the collar pooling around both elbows now. Brian’s skin tingled at the sight of Jae’s dick, red and leaking pre-cum onto his pink shirt. 

 

“ _You’re so beautiful_.” 

 

He blindly placed the camera on the bedside table, and reached into the top draw for lube and a condom. Brian lifted Jae’s hips, pushing him further up the bed, so he could sit between his open thighs, and repositioning Jae’s legs for easier access. 

 

“ _Fucking hurry up._ ” 

 

“Patience baby,” Brian chuckled at Jae’s restless whine. “I’m going to use my cuffed hand okay?”

 

Jae hummed in response, not questioning it. Brian glanced hungrily at Jae’s hole, already clenching around thin air. He palmed his dick through his boxers at just the sight of it. 

 

“Hey--” 

 

“Sorry baby, you’re too gorgeous.”

 

“Please Brian, just fucking _fuck_ me already.”

 

Brian dribbled some lube onto his fingers and for safe measure onto Jae’s hole, the elder startling slightly at the cold sensation. 

 

“Ready?”

 

“Umhm.”

 

Brian carefully slipped a finger past the tight muscle, watching as Jae tensed at the intrusion, watching the sweat trickle down his jaw and past a fresh trail of hickeys.

 

After a few thrusts of Brian's finger Jae started to relax around him.

 

“ _More!_ ” Brian obliged and added a second finger, scissoring them inside Jae.

 

As he added the third finger, Jae’s left, uncuffed hand was grabbing at the sheets desperately, the other restrained and, being attached to Brian’s hand, was moving in time with the thrusts.

 

“B-Bri, I’m ready.”

 

“Hmm not yet, baby,” Brian uncapped the lube bottle and poured a small amount onto Jae’s cuffed hand. He used the hand that wasn’t inside Jae to spread the lube over his fingers. Silently he guided Jae’s hand over to his own hole, the elder having to twist his body slightly in order to reach more comfortably.

 

“What are you--  _fuck_.” Jae’s gasped as Brian swapped out of of hims own fingers for one of Jae’s. Holding Jae’s wrist and thrusting them in and out simultaneously. Slowly, one by one, he replaced all of his fingers for all of Jae’s, earning himself a sharp intake of breath and a mumbling of cruses with each digit. 

 

He sat back, observing his work, watching Jae finger fuck himself, his face contorting and screaming out as he found his own prostate. Brian’s dick twitched painfully in his boxers, by now soaked with pre-cum. He couldn’t take it anymore and he quickly peeled them off, kicking them across the room. Moving closer so he had the use of his cuffed hand despite Jae still trusting his inside himself, Brian managed to roll the condom onto his cock, picking the lube up again and coating himself. 

 

“Briaaan.” Jae’s whimper made Brain’s cock twitch excitedly. “Fuck me good, _please_.” 

 

“No problem, baby.” Slowly he pulled Jae’s fingers out of himself, watching his hole clench desperately at the emptiness. Brian interlocked their fingers, using his other hand to guide his cock to Jae’s entrance. 

 

He waited until Jae inhaled before pushing himself inside the tight hole. Jae held his breath as Brian bottomed out and stilled, his head spinning at how good Jae felt, how much he’d missed him.

 

“Move, _please_.”

 

Brian watched the tears form in Jae’s eyes. 

 

Before moving he quickly reached out to how Jae’s other hand, bringing them both about his head, the older’s almost naked torso on full display, his dick, red and throbbing against his stomach.

 

“You’re so beautiful.” Brian whispers, moving in for a kiss. Only once Jae was distracted by Brian’s tongue exploring his mouth again, did he begin to move. Light thrusts at first but soon Jae was panting into his mouth, saliva and sweat mingling. 

 

“Harder, Bri _harder_.” 

 

Brian pushed harder, deeper, he released Jae’s uncuffed hand and moved to reposition Jae’s legs, bending them closer to Jae's stomach so he could thrust in at a slightly different angle. On a particularly hard thrust Jae cried out, tears rolling down his face in pleasure.

 

Brian took that as his cue to start pounding into him, chasing his orgasm.

 

“Baby, are you close?”

 

Jae manages to nod his head in response, his mouth too occupied with the grunts and moans that were escaping him with each thrust.

 

The atmosphere was electric, the only sounds being their ragged breathing and occasional moans, and the squelch of the lube and the slap of skin against skin. The room smelled of sweat and sex, and they were both loving every second.

 

Brian lent down to whisper in Jae's ear-- “ _\--touch yourself for me, baby--_ ” --and leaned in to bite at Jae’s bottom lip as Jae quickly snaked his hand between them, tending to his neglected dick. A few messy tugs and Jae was nearly gone.

 

“Fuck Bri-- I’m g-gonna--”

 

“Go on baby, cum for me.” Brian said giving one last deep thrust, hitting the elder’s prostate square on.

 

Jae’s scream filled the room as his load spilled between them, landing on their stomachs, messying Jae’s shirt.

 

The way Jae clenched around him as he carried out his orgasm was incredible and it had Brian cumming into the condom after a couple more shallow thrusts. Brian kept lazily thrusting until his orgasm finished and his dick began to soften.

 

His arms were suddenly weak and he fell onto Jae, but disguised the exhaustion with a deep kiss, his tongue diving into Jae’s mouth again, his hands cupping his face.

 

“That was incredible.” _You are incredible._

 

“You certainly haven't lost it.”

 

Brian laughed at the compliment. Soon Jae was wiggling at the discomfort, still having Brian inside of him. Slowly he pushed his body up and pulled out, removing the condom and tying it before tossing it in the nearby bin. 

 

Glancing at Jae, seeing him so fucked out, made him remember the camera again. He picked it up off the beside table to find it still recording. He moved closer, pointing it at Jae’s ‘sex’ hair, his droopy eyes, the line of purpling hickeys along his neck, the sweat and cum soaked shirt, the pool of drying cum on his stomach. 

 

“You okay Jae?”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“We’re going to get you cleaned up now, okay?” 

 

“Hmm.”

 

“Can you stand up, Jae?”

 

Slowly Jae sat up, his lower back aching already, taking Brian’s outstretched hand he was able to balance properly on both feet. He felt gross, his shirt sticking to him, his hair matted with sweat. But at the same time he felt better than he had done in months.

 

“You good?” Jae nodded in response. “Come on--” --Brain’s hand squeezed his, sending electric currents through his system-- “Time to shower.”

 

Jae nodded sleepily and followed the younger into the en suite.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**hour 18**

 

They’d scrubbed at Jae’s shirt in the shower -- it’s not like they could take it off, but they managed to get most of the cum off as it hadn't properly dried yet, and they washed it was nearly the whole bottle of body wash so it no longer smelled of sweat. Brian had quickly fished out a pair of boxers for himself and Jae, before fumbling for the hairdryer and drying off Jae’s shirt before the elder had started to shiver. 

 

Brian couldn’t help how his heart swelled as he watched a sleepy, soft Jae, wearing Brian’s boxers and a warm, half-buttoned oversized shirt climb into his bed. It made him long for their relationship. 

 

But he couldn’t think about that now.

 

Not when Jae was making grabby hands at him and pulling back the duvet for Brian to lay down beside him.

 

It was a little awkward cuddling with their wrists linked by a cold metal chain, but they managed and Jae finally drifted off to sleep, head on Brian’s chest, the steady beat of his heart as the lullaby.

 

Jae was happy. 

 

But then his dreams arrived.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> argh i'm freaking out, I really hope that was adequate lmao
> 
> also, sorry for the not-a-lot-of-plot thing, but trust me, the next update will make up for that.
> 
> so yeah, p serious angst in the next chapter.. you've been warned


	6. minus thirteen thousand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please take note of the tag changesssss, if you're uncomfortable please don't read i don't want anyone to be triggered or anything. it's nothing very graphic, nothing in detail but i just wanted to make sure you're all aware.

 

 

 

**hour -13,140**

 

He’d arrived later than he’d have liked.

 

The party was heard before it was seen, some mainstream pop that he had no interest in, thumping aggressively through the well-off neighbourhood. How Jackson didn't get complaints from all his rich, stuck-up neighbours, Jae will never know. And how did his parents trust him enough to leave for a two month cruise? If they knew their son, which they obviously didn’t, they’d realise that leaving him in a building full of money and alcohol and breakable ornaments for eight weeks, was a very bad idea.

 

Jae took a deep breath before rounding the corner of the street, immediately spotting the partygoers overflowing onto the front lawn. Trust Jackson to invite the entire university--although, to be fair, Mark probably did that for him.

 

He managed to elbow his way to the open front door, the large oak opening peering down at him like a warning.

 

_If only he’d taken it._

 

“Jae! Glad you could make it.”

 

“Jinyoung, how are you, man?”

 

“Good, how’s the report going?”

 

“Let’s  _not_ ,” Jae cringed, “I’ve been repressing and procrastinating. If we speak of it anymore my guilt will get the better on me and I’ll have to go home and finish it.” More like s _tart_  it.

 

“Enough said.” Jinyoung chuckles, handing Jae his almost full bottle of beer. “Here, get this down you. Have some fun.”

 

“You don’t need to tell me twice.” Jae takes a swig from the bottle, the cold liquid sliding down his throat.

 

Before Jinyoung moved to another conversation Jae reached for his wrist. “Hey, have you seen Brian anywhere?”

 

Jinyoung’s face noticeably shifted, somewhat uncomfortable with the topic. He’d found out too, then. No doubt from Mark.

 

“He’s um--” --he paused, like he wasn’t supposed to divulge this information. He  _was_  Brian’s classmate, not Jae’s-- “--in the back yard. But you didn't hear that from me.”

 

Jae smiled in thanks, before weaving his way through the overcrowded living room.

 

Truthfully Jae didn’t want to be there: the music was making his ears buzz, the amateur club-like flashing lights giving him a headache. He wouldn’t be at this party unless he had to be.

 

“Jae--” a familiar voice cut through the music and he turned in the direction it came from. Mark was sat on the marble kitchen worktop, waving his arm at his fellow classmate--that was never a good sign-- “--come here, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

 

Jae rolled his eyes but made his way over anyway.

 

“Shots?”

 

“Great surprise.” Jae deadpanned.

 

“Come on man, you’ve been such a downer recently. Ever since you and Brian fought. Neither of you have even told me what it was about?”

 

Did Jae even know? Not really. It was over something really petty, that was all he could remember. The conversation-turn-argument kind of just blended into one whole bad experience in his head.

 

All he knows is that he misses Brian. They’d been dating for eighteen months, have known each other for two years, a week without his boyfriend was slowly driving him insane.

 

He’d tried texting Brian, tried calling, tried stalking his social media, he’d even visited Brian’s favourite (but not cheap by any means) coffee shop every single day.

 

But alas, no Brian. And now Jae was skint as well as lonely.

 

Brian was definitely still mad. He was well practised in holding grudges, and Jae was always thankful that he’d never been on the wrong side of them.

 

So part of Jae wanted to go and smack Brian’s brain back into place, yell at him for being dumb enough to let them fall out over something insignificant, their first major fight. Then immediately kiss and make up, of course.

 

But part of him was scared, worried that this fight would just snowball and they’d end up in a bigger mess at the end of it all.

 

“Come on,” Mark said teasingly, “Forget about Brian. One shot won't hurt.”

 

Jae hadn’t ever been granted the gift of strong willpower.

 

He took the shot and cringed hard as it burned down his throat.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**hour -13,137**

 

One shot turned to five, probably too many in such a short space of time, but he’d done worse before. However, that coupled by the constant sipping of beer--he’s on his third bottle now--pushed Jae way over his limit. By the time Jinyoung found him again, he was drunk, falling over, and he still hadn’t spoken to Brian. Or seen him for that matter.

 

“Woah there buddy,” Jinyoung pulled Jae up of the comfy patch of carpet he’d suddenly found him self face-to-face with, leading him over to one of the empty seats on the couch. Jae let himself be thrown onto the cushioned seat-somewhat ungracefully, but bless Jinyoung for trying.

 

“How many times do I have to tell you, Mark is a terrible drinking buddy. That guy practically drinks professionally, there’s no way you can keep up with him.”

 

Jae hummed in response, not really  _there_ , but not really sure where exactly he was.

 

Jinyoung seemed to notice. “Oh god, let me go and get him. One second--” He pointed his finger, making Jae go crosseyed following it-- “--stay right there, don't move.”

 

He nodded slowly, dazed, and watched Jinyoung push his way through the crowd, in the direction of the back patio.

 

He wasn't sure how long it had been, but when Jae opened his eyes again, they were met with those familiar brown voids that he is so very much in love with.

 

“Briaaaannnn,” Jae said leaning forward sleepily about to fall of the couch if Brian wasn’t there to catch him, his strong arms wrapping around Jae’s shoulders.

 

“Jae, come on babe,” Brian hands him a solo cup full of.. vodka? “You’ve got to get some water down you, or you’ll regret it tomorrow.” Ahh, water, of course.

 

“Hmm Brian--” he takes a big swig from the cup as he was told, some dribbling onto his shirt, “You’re so good to me, I don’t deserve you.”

 

“Stop that,” Brian moved to sit beside Jae, letting the senior rest his head on his shoulder. “Of course you do.”

 

“I’m sorry about the fight.”

 

“Don’t worry baby--” Brian presses a kiss to Jae’s muted brown hair-- “--I honestly can’t even remember what we were fighting about, lets just forget it, hey?”

 

Jae nods. “I love you, Brian.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

Jae’s eyes shut and he drifted off to sleep, the thumping music becoming a dull lullaby.

 

 

* * *

 

**hour -13,135**

 

It was two a.m. when Jae opened his eyes again, he could tell because his blurred vision could just about make out the clock in the bedroom. He was sprawled on a bed, on top of the duvet It wasn’t his bedroom, presumably one of the many in Jackson’s house as he could still hear a heavy bass thrumming through the walls and the floor.

 

But he doesn't remember moving to the bedroom. He focuses all his energy onto what came after the half a dozen shots and the bad influence that is Mark Tuan.

 

Ah. Brian.

 

Always Brian.

 

No doubt he moved him to this quieter room once he’d dozed off. Brian was kind like that.

 

Jae closed his eyes and smiled to himself, the fact that they’d made up spreading a warmth through his chest, he twisted his body around so he was laying on his side.

 

“Ah, awake now are we?”

 

Jae jumped at the unexpected voice in front of him, his alcohol clouded mind flashing a burst of near death scenarios at him. His eyes flew open and after a few concentrated blinks, his distorted vision slowly focused on a face, tan skin, high nose bridge, dark hair, thick eyebrows.

 

“Jinseok, hi.” Jae smiled, “I didn’t know you were at the party?”

 

His best friend smiled in return and rolled onto his back to face the ceiling.

 

“I just got here, Mark called me, told me you were knocked out and needed babysitting.”

 

Jae huffed. It wasn’t like he wanted to ruin the party for Brian, but he couldn’t help but feel a little sting in his chest. He’d get over it soon enough.

 

But wait-- “You came all the way here just to babysit me?” Jae let out a small laugh. He’d only met Jinseok, or  _Matthew_ , this year during one of their theory lectures when Jae had been dribbling on his less-than-ammused neighbour's notes whilst he slept, Jinseok had helped him out of that sticky situation, and they’d been friends ever since.

 

“Yeah,” Jinseok turned his head to look him in the eye, “Why wouldn’t I?”

 

Hmm, fair enough, Jae shrugged and shut his eyes, ready to drift back off to sleep in an attempt to fight off the headache brewing behind his eyebrows.

 

The pull into sleep was a comforting one, not the usual crash he gets when he’s drunk too much, more like the rare occasions where his brain co-operates and decides to shut down slowly and gently.

 

But much like when you get the sudden feeling of falling, Jae was jolted awake.

 

He tried to ignore it, keep his eyes shut, maybe sleep would grace his presence again.

 

But that was definitely a hand on his thigh. That was definitely a hand in his hair, definitely fingers tracing over his cheek.

 

Jae couldn’t ignore it anymore and opened his eyes. “What are you doing?” He let out a dry, wary laugh. Jinseok was a renowned pranker, he was probably just messing with him.

 

“What do you mean, baby?”

 

_Baby?_

 

“Don’t be a dick.” He forced out another empty laugh and made to sit up, alcohol still clouding his vision slightly.

 

“Come on Jae, don’t play innocent.” Jinseok’s voice sent shivers down his spine in the most uncomfortable way. He slowly started shuffling towards the edge of the bed, but heavy hands on his waist stopped him moving.

 

“I-innocent?” He was scared now. He’d never seen his best friend like this before. “What do you mean Jinseok?”

 

“You’ve been giving me the eye for the last six months,” He was closer now, Jae could feel his breath on his face, broad shoulders casting a shadow over him.

 

Jae’s desperately tried to piece together anything that’s happened in the past six months that could’ve given his best friend that indication. Maybe it was the alcohol blocking out chunks of memory but he was pretty damn sure that he’d been nothing but friendly.  _Platonically_  friendly. He’s been with Brian since before he even met Jinseok.

 

“I dont--”

 

“I heard you’ve had a fallout with your boyfriend.”

 

“No--” Jae’s eyes widened as Jinseok's lips crashed against his, uninvited and unwelcome. He tried to pull away, turn his head to get Jinseok’s tongue out of his mouth, anything, but the others strong hands gripped his face, keeping him trapped in the kiss.

 

Jae was quickly sobering up and he was suddenly so scared. Who was this person? It wasn't the Jinseok he’d come to know the last two semesters. Not the person who’d listened to his problems, helped him in his studies, given him advice when he’d been in a bit of a low with Brian in their relationship.

 

What the fuck was going on?

 

Even without the alcohol Jae’s brain couldn’t process what was happening. His only thought was  _BRIANBRIANBRIANBRIAN_.

 

“Jinseok please--” His voice came out muffled when he tried to speak with the mouth still on his.

 

Jae’s body had gone into panic mode now, he was struggling beneath Jinseok, but his friend just held him down and stilled him like it was nothing.

 

“Please stop.” He was trying to shout now, maybe someone was outside, they could come and save him. Maybe Brian was outside.

 

“BRIA--”

 

A large hand covered his mouth and Jae choked back a sob. The hungry look in Jinseok’s eyes made Jae’s skin crawl and his heart drop to his stomach in dread.

 

“Now, now,” Jinseok’s voice made his hears stand on end. “Don’t go ruining this.”

 

Jae screwed his eyes shut as the unwelcome fingers started to move up under his shirt.

 

_BRIANBRIANBRIANBRIAN._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**hour 20**

 

 

Brian woke up to Jae squirming beside him.

 

Confused at first, he checked the time. 7:04am.

 

He turned his attention back to the man next to him, sweat matting his hair, eyebrows furrowed and shirt sticking to him. Brian watched as he writhed and thrashed about in a what could only be described as terror, his hands clawing at the sheet and legs kicking at the duvet.

 

Panic rushed through Brian’s system and he quickly sat up, placing both hands on Jae’s shoulders, and shaking gently.

 

“Jae, baby, wake up.”

 

Nothing. Jae was still in a state of unconscious distress.

 

“ _Jae_ ,” Brian was really worried now, he shook harder, Jae’s head lifting off the pillow slightly with the force. “Jae you’ve got to wake up, you’re having a nightmare.”

 

Jae’s eyes opened and Brian was taken aback with how much fear radiated from them. He let out a yell that muffled in Brian’s ears and pushed the younger away--as much as he could wearing the handcuffs--and Brian’s heart stung. He knew Jae wasn’t in his right mind at that moment, but it hurt.

 

“Jae,” He held his hands up, showing that he came in peace, “Jae, it’s okay, it’s just me.”

 

Jae sat up, frantically looking around the room, looking scared and vunerable, but also like he wanted to punch someone square in the face. His chest was heaving up and down as he visibly tried to slow his breathing.

 

“You’re at my house, in my room.” Brian said calmly, despite his heart beating at a mile a minute, trying to help Jae find his bearings. “We’re here to make a video for Sungjin and Wonpil.” He reached out a hand to Jae’s shoulder. Jae flinched but he didn’t push him away this time. “Are you okay?”

 

Jae was silent, the only sound in the room being him catching his breath. Finally, after what felt like hours to an anxious Brian, he nodded, eyes focused on the duvet pooling at his ankles where he’d kicked at it.

 

“Nightmare?” Jae nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

His head turned and his eyes met Brian’s. He nodded again.

 

When he still didn't speak, Brian prompted him. "What was it about?"

 

“It’s about--” Jae gulped, his voice was hoarse, like he’d been screaming “It’s about that night, at Jackson’s party.”

 

It was Brian’s turn to flinch now.

 

Jae had said it like a question. Like he was asking for Brian’s permission to talk about it. He  _had_ turned him away when he’d tried to broach the topic earlier.

 

Shit.

 

_Man-up._

 

After Jinyoung had told him what had happened that night, he’d boycotted all memory of that party, avoided all conversations. He’d even removed his tag from any photos that had appeared on Facebook.

 

That was the night that everything had spiralled.

 

And he still had the guilt. It was sitting in the pit of his stomach, ever present, ever waiting.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**hour -13,089**

 

Wonpil had found him after. The next morning.

 

He’d probably heard about something from Brian. Or maybe Jinyoung. Maybe Jinseok.

 

Probably worried that he didn't come home last night, after saying that he'd be coming home from the party early.

 

Whatever.

 

Jae remembers to the wobble in Wonpil’s voice when he’d looked into Jae’s emtpy eyes. The anger as he’d ordered a hubngover Jackson to help him take the eldest home.

 

Jae doesn’t remember  _feeling_  anything. He hadn’t slept after. He’d just laid there in the exact position he’d been left in, shirt up by his armpits, jeans down by his knees, a duvet thrown haphazardly over him.

 

They’d gotten home and he’d been immediately put in the shower. Wonpil had scrubbed him down, washing his skin with care. The younger hadn't even bothered to hide the tears, the strings of  _“I’msosorryJae”_ trickling down the plug hole.

 

After he’d been carefully tucked into bed, Sungjin appeared, a face full of anger, promises to sort this out, report it to the school board, they’d help him.

 

Jae remembers not responding, just staring emptily.

 

“He’s been like this since I found him hyung.” Wonpil had said.

 

“I think he just needs time Wonpillie.”

 

It had taken a week. He hadn’t spoken for the first few days. Hadn’t eaten. Sungin had given him constant updates on how the authorities were handling it. Apparently an investigation had been launched, but Jae doesn’t know what there was to investigate.

 

He didn’t hear from Brian until the fifth day after.

 

_Saturday, 5pm the cafe._ Was all the text had read.

 

So here he was. Brian’s favourite overpriced cafe, 4:52pm.

 

Jae took a deep breath.

 

He wasn't dumb, he knows what people have been saying about him. He knows the rumours Jinseok has spread. He didn’t care what strangers on campus thought of him, as long as the people close to him knew the truth, were there for him.

 

As long as Brian knew the truth.

 

Jae looked up from his hands and the tinny bell on the door rang. 5:07PM.

 

“Sorry I’m late.” Jae wanted to smile and say that it was no problem, but Brian’s voice was icy and cold, unfriendly.

 

He sat in the booth opposite Jae, not ordering his favourite too-sweet drink that leaves a dent in his wallet.

 

The silence stretched between them. Painfully awkwardly. Jae wasn’t sure what Brian had heard, he didn’t want to make a mistake by speaking first.

 

Brian cleared his throat.

 

“We need to talk.”

 

Jae nodded.

 

“I know what happened--”

 

“--no--” The tone of Brian’s voice made panic bubble at an alarming rate in Jae’s chest. Brian was pissed--that meant he’d heard the wrong version of the story. The rumour. Jinseok’s bullshit.

 

“--let me finish.”

 

Jae nodded dumbly, not wanting to anger Brian any further. He could feel the sting tears behind his eyes.

 

“Anyway,” Brian sighed. “I know--Jinyoung told me--that night actually, and I--" He paused and cleared his throat again. “I think it’s best if we stop seeing each other, cut ties. It might sound a little harsh, but I’ve had a week to think about this and I know I can’t forgive you.”

 

“Brian--" Jae was crying now.

 

“I don’t want to hear excuses Jae, I trusted you.”

 

Jae chokes back a sob.

 

He leaves as quickly as he arrives.

 

Jae glances at the clock. 5:25pm. Not even twenty minutes.

 

He’d never cried in public before.

 

That day Jae sat in the cafe and sobbed like a baby.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please take care everyone, thank you for reading, sorry it's taken so long to update, i've been super busy and it was a really difficult chapter to write aand i'm really not happy with the outcome. i didn't plan for the story to get this heavy or angsty but i don't know, it happened, i think i've been watching too much american tv.
> 
> i promise it gets better from here, i am not equipped to deal with any more angst!!
> 
> but there is still more to be revealed.


	7. twenty two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mild fighting, and discussion about what happened in the last chapter, just as a warning

 

 

 

**hour 22**

 

 

“I didn’t, I couldn’t--”

 

“Jae, Jae baby it’s okay, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

 

“Please forgive me,” Brian’s heart shattered more and more with every wet hiccup from Jae.

 

“Of course, Jae, there is nothing to forgive, Jesus--” It was hard to comprehend everything that he’d just been told. He was confused as to why he'd only just found out, why this had even happened, but mostly he was just so fucking angry with himself. He was trying to ignore the guilt that was rapidly forcing it’s way up his throat. “I’m so fucking sorry Jae.” He choked back a sob of his own and pulled Jae into his chest, both their bodies shaking.

 

The most unbearable part is that Brian had _known_ something wasn't right that night. He’d known that there was something he was missing. Yet he still chose to believe the shouts, ignore the whisper.

 

_ H _e should have gone back to check_. _

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**hour -13,134**

 

 

“Riiight…” Cue stiff laugh and an attempt escape the conversation. Yugyeom way trying so hard to convince Brian that he wasn’t drunk, whilst chewing on a full uncooked broccoli that he found in Jackson’s fridge.

 

Mid eye-roll as Yugyeom continued to slur his words, Brian caught sight of Jinyoung walking towards him. 

 

“Hey Jinyoung,” Brian smiled, very happy for an escape route. His smile wavered when he saw Jinyoung’s expression.

 

“Brian, where did you leave Jae?” 

 

“What?”

 

Jinyoung grabbed his arm and pulled him through the crowd - presumably to somewhere they could actually hold a conversation. Brian glanced back at the very drunk Yugyeom, and sniggered when he saw the new exchange student from Thailand becoming his newest victim.

 

“What’s up?” Brian asked once they reached the less crowded doorway to the back yard. Brian noticed at least three people passed out on the grass.

 

“Where did you leave Jae? Didn’t you take him home?” 

 

“No I left him in one of the spare rooms upstairs, why--” --Jinyoung scrunched his eyes shut, as if in despair-- “--did something happen to him?” Brian’s fist tightened, completely crushing his red plastic cup, the contents spilling onto the floor between them. 

 

“No it’s just--” Jinyoung’s eye’s met his for the first time and what Brian saw in them scared him.

 

“Spit it out Jinyoung”

 

“It’s Jinseok, he’s saying stuff.”

 

“What _stuff_? Jinyoung please--”

 

“--He’s, he's saying he slept with Jae. Tonight. In Jackson’s spare room.”

 

 

Jinseok, Jae's best friend. He'd never really warmed to Brian, probably to do with the fact that he had the most obvious infatuation with Brian's boyfriend. But this is going too far.

 

“Well he’s fucking lying.” Brian hissed. Jae wouldn’t do that - he might be drunk but he loves Brian, he wouldn’t do that.

 

“That’s what I thought, but Jackson is saying he walked in on them--wait, where are you going?”

 

It wasn't hard to find Jackson. He was standing in front of the obnoxiously big speakers in what used to be the living room but was now apparently a make-shift strip club with the way Jackson was dancing (and encouraging others).

 

“JACKSON!” Somehow his voice cut through the (terrible) blaring music, and Jackson looked down at him from his perch on an unsteady looking table. 

 

“BRIAANNNN, WHASSUP?” Brian pulled him off the table and behind the speakers - a little more bearable.

 

“Woah, party pooper,” Jackson said when he looked at Brian’s furrowed eyebrows and set jaw, but maybe the alcohol was blinding him to how angry Brian actually was “--oh wait, you must've found out about Jae? Bummer man--”

 

“No--" Brian grabbed the collar of Jackson’s tank top, dumb idea since Jackson could probably body slam him a million times over, but luckily the other chose to just look slightly shocked at the afront “--I’m here to find out why you and Jinseok are spreading bullshit.”

 

“Listen man, I wish I was--” He chuckled and Brian’s grip got tighter, “--but there I was, about to have mind blowing sex with this Soo-something or other, and I open the door to the spare room - she’d see my figurine collection if I went in my room - and there is Jinseok banging into Jae like there is no tomorrow--”

 

“--you fucking--”

 

“--hey hey Brian,” Jackson actually looked scared when Brian raised his other fist, “Don’t shoot the messenger.”

 

“I don’t believe you.”

 

“I didn’t believe it either.” Jackson’s tone signals that he’s finally realised how bad this is, how upset Brian is. “But it was definitely Jae under him, I couldn’t see his face but he was wearing that dumb ‘lucky party shirt’ he wears to _every_ party, and I saw his ring too.”

 

He looks down at his own hand, the single silver band around his index finger, identical to the one Jae wore. It had been Jae’s idea - _“couple rings, come on Bribri,”_ Brian had pretended to reluctantly go along with it _“only because I love you,”_ but truthfully his heart had been doing summersaults in his chest. 

 

Jae had been wearing it when Jinseok--

 

The anger bubbled dangerously in his chest.

 

In Brian’s silence, Jackson managed to free himself from the grip on his shirt. He placed a supposedly comforting hand on Brian’s shoulder.

 

“Sorry man,” Jackson sighed, “I never pegged Jae as a cheater, but ya know--”

 

“Shut the fuck up!” Brian pushed the hand of his shoulder with more strength than he’d anticipated and he sends Jackson stumbling backwards.

 

“Wait, Brian--”

 

But he’d already pushed himself through the crowd, away from Jackson.

 

He should look for Jae, get him to explain, ask him what the fuck is going on.

 

He stood on his tiptoes and quickly scanned the mass of bodies for his boyfriend, nothing. Did Jae stay in the room? Brain used his elbows to push his way through the crowds to the closest staircase, earning some irritated looks. As he started to climb his eyes caught on the enemy. 

 

Jinseok. Sprawled on the sofa, beer bottle in hand, laughing with some people that Brian didn’t recognise. 

 

Rage clouded his vision and before he knew it he was standing over a smug looking Jinseok, all the people on the sofa gazing at him, confused. 

 

“Brian, hello.” Jinseok’s grin was wide and obnoxious, Brain wanted to slap it off his face.

 

“We need to talk.” He stated through gritted teeth. He was clenching his fists so hard that his blunt nails started to break through the skin of his palm.

 

“I don’t think we do.”

 

“Fucking stand up, Jinseok.”

 

Jinseok smirked at his friends next to him, all of them amused by Brian’s temper, but he didn’t care about them. The elder slowly stood up, slightly towering over Brian as he reached his fully height. 

 

“What do you want to talk about Brian? Shall we talk about how your boyfriend let me fuck him, how he lapped it up, whining and screaming for more, begging me to go harder faster, saying how much better I am at fucking him than you are? Lets talk about how your boyfriend is a needy little slut--”

 

Brian’s fist connected with Jinseok’s nose, shocking him and forcing him to stagger backwards, his hand coming up to cover it. Immediately Brian lifted his leg and kneed him in the stomach, making the taller curl inwards. He grabbed a fistful of Jinseok’s hair and forcing his head up.

 

“If you ever talk about Jae like that again, I will fucking kill you.” 

 

He stopped to breathe for a moment.

 

The entire area was silent now, the music still blaring and partiers further away still cheering and dancing, but everyone who was standing around the sofa, had stopped stock still, watching the fight, staring at Brian like he was crazy. It was like the entire room was holding a breathe. 

 

He looked back down at Jinseok, his nose bleeding but Brian couldn't feel less sorry when he saw the smug grin still plastered on his face. 

 

Anger shot through his veins.

 

But it didn’t give him the urge to fight anymore.

 

He pushed Jinseok away, the elder falling backwards onto the couch, and quickly pushed his way through the masses of people to the front door. Through the ringing in his ears he venue heard Jinyoung shouting his name, but he wasn’t going to turn around, not now. 

 

Brian ran home, ignoring the burning in his lungs, his eyes, his legs. He just ran and ran and ran, getting as far away from that party as he possibly could. A nagging  voice in the back of his head told him that he should’ve spoken to Jae should’ve checked on him.  _H_ _e should have gone back to check_. But his main train of thought was stuck on Jinseok’s words, the visual of Jae under someone else moaning and writhing.

 

It was too much, and Brian felt sick. He ran up the stairs and, despite his trembling hands, managed to unlock the door to his and Sungjin’s flat. He even made it to the bathroom, slamming the door open forgetting that Sungjin was probably asleep in his room, before he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl. 

 

His vomit mixed with tears as he broke down, the alcohol probably making him even more emotional. His sobs quickly turned loud and hiccupy, and Sungjin was definitely awake by now.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**hour -13,130**

 

Brian woke up disorientated.

 

After a quick glance around, he realised he was on his couch, a blanket draped over him. He had no idea how he got here but he probably had Sungjin to thank for it.

 

“Oh, you’re awake.” Speak of the devil. “Sorry you’re on the couch, your room was too far away to carry you. I found you passed out on the bathroom floor - rough night?”

 

The events of the party hit Brian again. He screwed his eyes shut pulling the blanket over his head in response. He didn’t want to think about it yet, he wanted to fall back into a dreamless sleep for as long as possible.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes--listen, there is fresh coffee in the pot and the Advil is next to the fruit bowl. I’ve got to pop out. Wonpil called me, all flustered, asked me to come over. Said it was an emergency.” 

 

Brian rolled over, trying to block out Sungjin’s voice. Sure he was grateful for his roommate and best friend, but god, their cutesie relationship was not what he needed to hear about today.

 

“Bye Sungjin.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**hour -13,092**

 

“Sungjiiiin,” Mark sauntered into the coffee shop, probably still drunk from one party or another, his bright red hear unkempt and unruly and his clothes had definitely not had contact with an iron this morning.

 

“Shut up,” Sungjin whisper-shouted conscious of the elderly couples who were shooting filthy looks at Mark because of his loud voice. 

 

“So what did yo want to see me about, teach?” Sungjin rolled his eyes.

 

“Will you stop being a dick for two minutes please--” Mark had the sense to look mildly shocked at Sungjin’s outburst, he’d never been (whisper-)yelled at by him before. “I need to talk to you about Jackson’s party.”

 

The way Sungjin hissed out the last sentence told Mark enough about the situation for him to just nod pliantly. 

 

“So,” Sungjin cleared his throat in a business like manner, “I need an informal statement from you so I can build up a case agai--”

 

“--huh? A case? Like for the _police_?” Mark sat up quickly. Sungjin’s building a _statement_ against someone? What happened at the party? He tried to rack his brain for any significant information about the night. Somewhat difficult since he was high for most of it, and he'd been to two other parties since Jackson’s (which was less than a week ago). Unfortunately his brain found nothing.

 

“No, for the university. I tried to take it to the police but the university claimed they’d sort it.” Sungjin hissed again. “The only reason they’re stopping me seeing the police is so it doesn’t soil their reputation but honestly I couldn’t give two shits about--”

 

“--wait a I being really dumb right now, did something happen that I missed? I swear that I was there the whole time and no one called the cops, heck, no one even broke anything. What happened that you want to take to the police.”

 

“You don’t know?” Sungjin looked aghast for a second, until he didn’t, his face falling into one of knowing frustration. “So you bought Jinseok’s bullshit then?” 

 

“Jinseok?”

 

“Yes, the crap he kept spouting about how Jae slept with him.”

 

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

 

“SHHHH!”

 

The old ladies enjoying their afternoon tea a few tables away from them were really not impressed.

 

“What the fuck?” Mark whispered. “Jae slept with Jinseok? What the actual hell? Poor Brian.”

 

“Are you fucking serious?” Sungjin scoffed quietly. “You think Jae would do that?”

 

“Well no, but you just said--”

 

“Jinseok raped him.”

 

Mark stilled, too stunned to notice his mouth hanging open in utter shock.

 

Sungjin sighed, despair heavy in his bones.

 

“Jae was drunk and Brian had left him in one of Jackson’s spare rooms, next thing we know, Jinseok’s bragging about fucking Jae, Jackson securing his story having walked in on them and not realising the situation.”

 

“Shit, man!”

 

“Yeah. We're missing some pieces of the story though. We don’t know when Jinseok got there, because he wasn’t at the party before, but I need to formulate a timeline for the university to start their investigation. 

 

Mark nodded, confused as to where he comes into this. He hadn’t even heard the rumour.

 

“Jae hasn’t said much about it, in fact he hasn’t said much about anything--”

 

“Is he okay?”

 

“No--” Sungjin let out a shakey exhale-- “--but he will be, with time. God knows how much.”

 

Mark nods again, no idea how to respond. Of course Jae isn’t okay.

 

“The only thing we’ve picked up in regards to Jinseok getting there is that you called Jinseok that night, before he got to the party.”

 

“Fuck,” Mark’s eye widen the memory suddenly coming to him, “Yeah I remember that - well, _he_ called me.” Sungjin clicked his pen and started writing, nodding to encourage Mark to continue. “Yeah, I remember, he actually rung to see if Jae was there, I mean - he made small talk before but we all know that was just for show, he’s liked Jae for months now.”

 

“--he has?”

 

“Yeah man, it’s so obvious, like painfully obvious. But Jae was so in love with Brian that he didn’t even notice. I’d never have thought Jinseok could do _this_ though.”

 

Sungjin nodded again, scribbling notes quickly. 

 

“But yeah, I told him that Jae was here but that he was drunk, he did like five rounds of shots with me, and you know what Jae’s like with his liquor. I told him if he’s coming just for Jae then he shouldn’t bother because by that point he was passed out and drooling on Brian’s shoulder, but he said he was going to come anyway. I didn’t question it. In fact, I didn’t see him the entire night, I just assumed he hadn't bothered after all.”

 

Sungjin hummed in acknowledgement. “So you didn’t hear the whole fight between him and Brian?”

 

“No? I haven’t seen either of them since the lecture last friday. What happened?”

 

“Brian punched him. The bastard had a lot more coming. Brian was generous only breaking his nose.”

 

If Sungjin the pacifist was saying this, then _damn_ was he angry.

 

“What about Brian, how’s he doing?” 

 

“He doesn’t know about it, not the truth anyway, the reason he punched Jinseok was because of the rumour.”

 

“What the fuck? Why haven’t you told him?”

 

“I tried okay. He’s not been in the flat since I found out. He hasn't picked up any of my calls, it’s not exactly something you just send via text. He’s ignoring Jae too, hasn’t replied to any of his texts asking to meet. Jae wants to be the one to tell him.”

 

Mark nods, putting his head in his hands. “Poor Jae.”

 

“Poor Jae.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure that everything after this is back in the present. Honsetly i was trying to be clever with the -13,134 hours things but honestly dont pay attention to them bc im pretty sure they're wrong lmao
> 
> thank yu for reading and I've finished my long af essay now and only have one photography project left so updats should be more frequent from here on out - i want to finish this fic by December


	8. twenty four - it's over

 

 

**hour 23.5**

 

Dowoon hadn't known what to expect when Sungjin ordered him to wake up the handcuffed couple and bring them to be filmed for the final hour.

 

Mostly he was just praying that they were both fully clothed, although he wasn’t holding his breath after some of the footage he’d caught from the party last night.

 

What he hadn’t expected though, was Brian sat up and awake, dried tear tracks staining his cheeks, with a small looking Jae curled up on his lap, his breathing shaky, like he’d cried himself to sleep.

 

Brian hadn’t noticed him at first, eyes focused on his fingers carding through Jae’s hair.

 

Dowoon felt horribly intrusive.

 

Something had obviously happened. Maybe it was about the thing he’d accidentally overheard Sungjin and Wonpil whisper-arguing about the other day, something about Jae needing to be the one to tell him, something to do with the reason they broke up, the reason they’ve been brought back together.

 

It was blindingly obvious that they were still in love, even though Brian had tried to hide it with the age old grudge facade, and Jae’s self-consciousness had almost overshadowed his feelings, but after Dowoon had seen their split second expressions when they first laid eyes on each other yesterday morning, he’d known. No amount of bad acting or anxiety could cover it up. He only wishes the two of them could see it.

 

Hearing Sungjin chastising one of the crew members from the living room, Dowoon quickly remembered the task at hand. One awkward clearing of his throat, another slightly louder clearing of his throat, and Brian’s head finally snapped up to meet his gaze.

 

“Oh Dowoon,” Brian spluttered slightly, removing his hand from Jae’s hair at the speed of light. The motion woke Jae up, and within seconds of his eyes latching onto Dowoon, he was sat up and as far away from Brian as the handcuffs would allow. The twinge of hurt on Brian’s face didn’t go unnoticed.

 

“Sorry to disturb--” Dowoon coughed awkwardly as Jae’s ears turned a bright pink, “--but Sunjin asked me to get you up and ready for filming the interview for the last hour.”

 

Brian’s mouth hung open slightly. He glanced down at the metal connecting the two on the bed, before looking up at Jae who was nearly glaring a hole into the floor. 

 

“Sungjin said to uncuff you now so you can get dressed and stuff.”

 

“Um, yeah, sure.”

 

Dowoon quickly moved over to uncuff them, the chain clinking as the metal fell from their wrists. Jae still didn’t move a muscle. 

 

“Give us twenty minutes.” Brian sighed.

 

Dowoon nodded, backing out of the room and clicking the door shut as softly as he could. The tension he felt in there was worrying. He’d seen their flirty jokes and needy gazes at the party last night but he’d also seen that it was so much more than that, behind the act. 

 

But now, being in that room with them, Jae avoiding Brian’s gaze, something had shifted. Dowoon was worried that it was for the worse rather than the better.

 

 

~~~~

 

 

It was like he was holding his breathe, waiting for Jae to speak, not wanting to slice the connection they made. It was horrible. The door clicked shut behind Dowoon, the only sounds left then was their breathing. Brian noticed Jae’s fingers fiddling with the corner of his shirt nervously. But Jae wasn't nervous, he was scared.

 

“Jae, it’s okay--” He cautiously reached out to touch Jae’s shoulder, worried that the older would flinch away, “--it’s all okay, you’re safe here.”

 

“I know that, I-I know.” He let out a shaky sigh, still not meeting Brian’s gaze. “But what do we do now, in front of the cameras, in front of Sungjin and Wonpil--”

 

Brian gulped.

 

“--do we pretend like nothing happened in the last twenty four hours - pretend that the truth doesn’t change anything? _Does_ it change anything?”

 

“Of course it changes things, Jae look at me--” Brian gently pulled Jae’s head so his eyes finally met his, it pained Brian to see them full of doubt and uncertainty. “The reason I left you was because I didn’t know the whole story and I will spend my life regretting that I didn’t give you a chance to explain that day. Leaving broke my heart. Honestly, truly tore it to pieces any time I thought of you. I couldn’t visit my favourite cafe anymore because it reminded me of you complaining about how overpriced it was, yet still ordering the most expensive coffee they sold. I couldn’t order miso soup because it reminded me of that time you had to give a presentation with a bowls worth down the front of your shirt. Heck, I even had to throw my old bed sheets out because even after I washed them time after time, they always smelled of you. I would always end up crying myself to sleep.”

 

They were both tearing up again, Jae’s tears overflowing in no time, wetting Brian’s hand where it was softly stroking his cheek.

 

“I’m so so sorry that I left, probably when you needed me the most.”

 

Jae looked down at his hands then, a small, heartless laugh escaping his lips.

 

“Do you know what I used to do when you left? I used to pretend that you hadn’t. I used to go to your favourite coffee shop and buy both of our orders and pretend you were there. I couldn’t ever drink yours though, too bitter, so I always just had to throw it away. But it turns out that throwing away a full cup of coffee three times a week for two months can really destroy you as a person--” Jae quickly sniffed and wiped at his eyes. “--Sungjin and Wonpil intervened then, said I had to stop hurting myself, move on. They were so good to me, but no matter what they said, I still visited that cafe and I still bought two coffees. Every single time.”

 

Their eyes connected and Jae could see the apology behind Brian’s, slightly blurred by the tears. He lifted his hand to wipe away the lingering tears with his thumb.

 

Watching Brian swallow the lump in his throat, Jae chuckled. “Come on now, weren’t you saying just five minutes ago that _It’s all okay_? Cheer up, crybaby.”

 

Brain let out a wet laugh, eyes folding into beautiful crescents. 

 

“Also--" Jae has done enough crying in the last few hours, it was time for a scene change, "--you’re going to have to lend me some clothes, and be warned, if I like them, you wont be getting them back.”

 

“Am I surprised?” Brian grinned, regaining his composed as he let Jae drag him over to his wardrobe. 

 

They got dressed in record time, Jae picking out one of Brian’s yellow hoodies, which hung off his frame beautifully, and a pair of his joggers which he had to sinch at the waistband so they stayed sitting on his hips. Brian wore his lucky ripped jeans which were usually only reserved for concerts, as well as a black bomber jacket over a matching black turtle neck.

 

“Mmmm, you look so hot in all black.” Jae whistled as Brian pulled on his socks.

 

“Down boy,” Brian laughed, watching Jae run his fingers through his fluffy hair, trying to fashion it into.. something.

 

They moved to wash up, ringing their face and brushing their teeth, Brian using his tooth brush and Jae using his finger ft. copious amounts of toothpaste. 

 

As Jae moved to put his glasses on, still sat where he’d left them before the party, Brian reaches out a hand to stop him.

 

“What did I tell you about your glasses, Jae?”

 

“Babe, I didn’t sleep until the ungodly hours of this morning, even then I didn’t really sleep, then I wake up and proceed to bawl my eyes out.” Jae cocks his head to the side matter-of-factly, staring at his face in the mirror, “I have bloodshot puffy eyes and no energy to cover these eye bags. I _am_ wearing these on camera.” 

 

Brian takes a moment to look at his own face. The tear stains had washed off with the water, but he still sported slightly pink rimmed eyes and a sniffly nose. He looked worse for wear, but he couldn’t care less of what his fans might think, they’ve seen him cry before (whilst performing the song he wrote for Jae, every single time he performed it), so nothing will be a shock to them.

 

His eyes meet Jae’s through the mirror, and he smiles, Jae’s grin infectious.

 

“What are you plotting, Jae?”

 

“Wanna mess with them?”

 

“Who?”

 

“Sungjin and Wonpil, and Dowoon too I guess.”

 

“… mess with them how?” Brian was quickly growing ever wary at the mischievous glint in Jae’s eye.

 

“Well, they obviously tricked us into this whole thing, to get us to put everything out in the open and to realise how much we needed each other blah blah blah. But they’re _filming_ it, _documenting_ it. For all they know we could still hate each other--”

 

“--I'm pretty sure it was obvious from the party--”

 

“--ah but that could’ve been down to the alcohol. It wasn’t--” --Jae winked at Brian through the mirror-- “--but it _could’ve_ been.”

 

Brian paused for a second, still slightly thrown off by the sudden wink and arrow to his heart. 

 

“So let me get this straight, you want us to go out there and pretend that we still hate each other, or at least are not happy to see each other, on camera, just to spite your two best friends for tricking us into the best thing that could’ve happened to us?” 

 

“Well I don’t want to tell the entire internet that I was-- um, the reason you left, and I’m pretty sure there’d be less ‘conspiracy comments’ under the video if we do this my way. You don’t want to earn yourself a bad rep for your fans now, do you?”

 

Brian knew Jae was right, knew it’d be best, at least for the internet if they pretended that no advancements in their relationship, or friendship, were made. Maybe not for the popularity of the video, but Brian didn’t want what happened to Jae somehow finding it’s way online. He wanted Jae to never have to think about it again, never have another nightmare about it. He wanted Jae to be safe from the sharp words of unjust people online.

 

And if Brian’s fans think Jae wants nothing to do with him, then maybe they’ll leave him alone. 

 

“Okay, you have yourself a deal.” Brian pauses for a second, before he leans forward, watching Jae go cross eyed as he tries to follow him. Quickly he presses his lips to the older, a soft gentle kiss but it sends electricity twisting through the both of them. 

 

When Brian pulls away, Jae’s lips follow after, searching for the lost contact.

 

“Okay,” Brian says smugly to Jae’s half-bewildered face. He blind reaches for the elder’s hand and intertwines their fingers. 

 

“Let’s go.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

**hour 24**

 

 

By the time they walked out of the bedroom, securely chained together again, they were already into their last hour. Jae couldn't help but be upset that this was ending, granted now him and Brian were… whatever they are, it wasn’t _really_ ending, but this somehow felt like the end of a rollercoaster of a chapter. 

 

All eyes are on them as they make their way down the hall way into the living room. He noticed Sungjin’s eyes land on their hands, both subtly pulling on the handcuffs in opposite directions - i.e. very different to how they’d been when Sungjin had been ushering them into the taxi last night. Jae smirks inwardly at Sungjin’s down trodden face. Sure, it’s probably wrong that they’re doing this to him and Wonpil, but they wont do it for long, this is just so him and Brian can act properly in front of the camera to get their charade across without a giggly hyperactive Wonpil on the opposite side of the room gushing abut how adorable they are and how cute they look together.

 

It was for their own good. Jae truthfully wasn’t trying to hurt them or deceive them, not after everything they’ve done for them over the years.

 

They quickly hurried over and seated themselves on the sofa in front of the cameras, identical to the twenty four hours previous.

 

Jae was surprised when Dowoon was the first to speak.

 

“Um, are you two… okay?” 

 

“We’re fine.” Brian’s voice was sharp and curt and Dowoon flinched slightly. Part of Jae felt bad for the kid - he was only doing his job - but but most of Jae was busy channeling all his willpower into not looking at Brian, because he knows it will just end with either a fit of laughter, or Jae staring at him like a lovesick puppy, neither of which would work in their favour at this point.

 

Sungjin’s sigh echoed around the barely furnished room. “Just--roll the cameras.”

 

Dowoon coughs and straightens the piece of paper (with the questions on?) in front of him. He starts hesitantly.

 

“So, um, what do you think you gained from this experience?”

 

A pause.

 

“I now know I can never trust my friends again.” When Jae saw hurt cloud Wonpil’s expression he masked his fake-harsh tone with a playful laugh, subtly shooting the younger a reassuring smile.

 

“I’ve learned, hmmm,” Brian pauses for added drama beside him, Jae makes the mistake of turning towards his voice and wow, in the last twenty minutes his eyes had forgotten how gorgeous Brian was, the light from the window beside him was casting a warm glow on his features, each little hair highlighted and Jae nearly reached out to touch his cheek.

 

Nope.

 

He suggested this idea, he can’t ruin it.

 

“I’ve learned that we are very different people.” Brian finally spoke. “We are different to the people who dated all those years ago, we are different to the people who were introduced to one another by the idiots sitting on the other side of these cameras, we are different to the people who stopped talking two years ago. People change, people grow.”

 

Everyone in the room seemed a little stunned at the response. Jae in particular felt his heart warm at the words. They have both changed, they have both grown, but they’ve found each other again. 

 

And that’s all well and good, but maybe a little too deep for a Buzzfeed video

 

“No but seriously, I’ve found out that I really took my right hand for granted before.”

 

Dowoon smiles at that. But something was obviously still nagging at him.

 

“Sooo, nothing happen last night that you want to tell us about?” 

 

That question certainly wasn’t on the script. Not if Wonpil’s eyes nearly popping out of his head was anything to go by.

 

Jae can feel his ears heating up, he dreads to think how pink his cheeks are right now, hopefully his glasses disguise it.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Brian says next to him, his voice less harsh this time.

 

“Me neither.” Jae quickly pipes in, probably too quickly.

 

“Oh come _on_ you guys. We have footage of you two grinding on each other for hours, eye fucking each other, and after the state you were in this morning you can’t deny that something happened after the party--”

 

“--that’s enough Dowoon--”

 

“But Sungjin hyung it’s not fair, there’s obviously still in lo--.”

 

“Just drop it Dowoon.” Dowoon hmphed and straightened out the script again. He seemed to calm slightly though when Wonpil started petting his hair.

 

“What did you learn about each other through this experience?”

 

Jae saw Wonpil tense. 

 

This question would sound harmless to anyone one but four of them in the room. Dowoon, for example, had no idea that this question had triggered a glare off between Sungjin and Jae.

 

“Plenty, thanks.” Jae replied through gritted teeth. He wasn’t mad at Sungjin, but he was a little insulted. This question just confirms that this whole thing was initiated to get Jae to tell Brian what he never had the chance to. 

 

Sneaky bastard.

 

“I learned that I enjoy my personal space,” Brian chuckled lightly, trying to avert Jae’s attention away from Sungjin. “Anyway, isn't that twenty four hours now? Can we uncuff so I can get some blood circulation back into my hand?”

 

Dowoon quickly turns to Wonpil for permission before tossing the key in their direction.

 

“Right,” Jae, smiled, breaking the staring match with Sungjin to stand up and brush the no existent dust from his arms. “If we’re done, I can just go--right?”

 

Wonpil nods, still looking slightly disheartened. “I’ll see you at home Jae.”

 

“I-I’ll show you out.” Brian quickly stood and followed Jae to the front door of his apartment. 

 

Thankfully no one followed them, all starting to take down the camera equipment, quiet mumbles here and there.

 

“I’ll go home then," Jae says standing in the doorway, slightly nervous. Hadn't Brian had enough of him in the last twenty fours hours, wont he need a break from Jae?

 

Without missing a beat Brian replied. “Sure, I’ll message you when they’re gone. We could watch a movie tonight or something.”

 

Jae’s surprised expression suddenly had Brian backtracking. “I-I mean, only if you want to.”

 

Jae took a quick glance behind Brian to make sure they were out of sight, before quickly pressing his lips to the younger’s. 

 

“I would love to.” Jae could feel the blush on his cheeks to mirror Brian’s. “I’ll bring the popcorn.”

 

Brian blinked, seemingly regaining his composure, the dumbest (cutest) grin Jae had ever seen slowly spreading onto his face.

 

“I can’t wait.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter soooooooon
> 
> kinda sad to be finishing this, my first non-bangtan fic, but i will (hopefully) be writing my socks off at christmas because i need an excuse to just stay home with my cat the entire holiday
> 
> anyway, im hoping the next chapter will be up in the next week, stay tuned for oodles and boodles of fluff


	9. how can i say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sickeningly sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i could come up with a billion different excuses as to why this has taken so long to update but truthfully i just didn't want to finish it,, i don't like endings wahhhh
> 
>  
> 
> warning,, even though im on the 4D pathway of a fine art course, i know very veryyyy little about video editing so i just threw in some long words and hoped for the best, sorryy if it's inaccurate
> 
> anyway, enjoy this tooth rotting nonsense

 

 

Dowoon was in a state of despair.

 

How the hell was he supposed to edit, sync, render and upload this god damn video in the space of a week? There was so much footage, despite Sungjin’s initial concerns of them not getting enough, but his mission was to narrow it down to under ten minutes. He also had to meet up with his mother and act like he was totally still enrolled on that apprenticeship she’d set up for him a year ago (that he’d quit three months in.) 

 

This was exhausting. His hyungs were cruel sometimes. Just because this video had _technically_ been his idea, as well as being his debut project at Buzzfeed. 

 

(In reality, Sungjn and Wonpil wanted Dowoon to take the reigns for this video because they want him to show off his incredible producing abilities so that he can get recognition and hopefully their boss will realise that he is being wasted as a camera assistant. But they don't want to tell Dowoon this, it would inflate his ego and they enjoy having the rightful honourifics used for them.)

 

Dowoon had almost finished encoding the clips, there was just the last few files left.

 

Noticing a fairly large section of footage he didn’t recognise was a little odd, considering he’d been behind the camera for most of it and he'd already sorted the footage from the vlogging camera they'd given the pair. Looking at the clip data, he realised that it was the footage Brian had sent over from his own camera, with the side note ‘ _can’t leave this bit out, Dowoonie._ ’

 

It took his eyes a second to adjust to the shapes hidden in the dark room on his screen, an orange glow like an old lamp. He still couldn’t quite work out what it was so he cranked the volume up slightly to see if that gave anything away.

 

Within seconds Dowoon regrets everything. 

 

Soft pants of breath, indistinguishable until the _"Brian, please, Brian."_

 

God, no!

 

Quickly scrolling through the rest of the playback thumbnails, his eye catches on several lewd shots, and that is very clearly Jae’s lips and Brian’s thumb stuck between them and Dowoon already thinks seen and heard too much, but suddenly a gut wrenching moan from Jae--undoubtably--ripples through his headphones and he feels his skin crawling.

 

Why? His _eyes_. His ears.

 

Will he ever recover.

 

He hits the space bar so hard to stop the playback, that he probably caused irreversible damage.

 

Dowoon had _known_. He’d known something had happened that night, he’d be more surprised if something _hadn’t_ happened after the way they’d been acting at Jinyoung’s party. But he hadn’t expected to witness it first hand, he’d wished he’d stayed clueless and frustrated.

 

Ignorance is bliss, as they say.

 

Knowledge is apparently permanently scarring.

 

He quickly pulled out his mobile, his trembling hands scrolling through the short contacts list.

 

The phone dialled twice before Sungjin’s voice chimed in greeting from the other end. 

 

“HYUUUUUNG!” Dowoon all but wailed. He was still innocent, he didn’t deserve that experience. 

 

“What is it Dowoon?” Sungjin’s voice came through the speaker panicked, genuinely concerned for Dowoon’s overdramatic ass. The younger’s heart warmed softly. 

 

“The-the hyungs,” Why was he sobbing? He was going to put it down to stress. “They sent me this thing, a-and I accidentally watched it, b-but I didn’t know what it was and am I supposed to put it in the video, but--” --he paused for a shaky inhale-- “--it’ll definitely get flagged by youtube and hyuunnngg, I think they tricked us, or at least they lied a-a-and--”

 

“--okay Dowoonie, just-just breathe.” Dowoon did. “Are you home now? Wonpil and I will head over now and help out. Make yourself a cup of tea and wait until we gt there.”

 

“Okay hyung, thank you. Love you.”

 

The abrupt silence on the other end of the phone struck Dowoon as odd, and as force of habit he quickly scanned through his last few words to see where about he’d fucked up--

 

Crap.

 

“--Wait, hyung, I just meant--”

 

Sungjin forced out a laugh, interrupting Dowoon’s feeble attempt at conjuring up an excuse. 

 

“Don’t worry Woonie, I know what you mean--” --he almost definitely doesn’t-- “--see you in ten.”

 

Dowoon gulped and hung up quickly, not trusting himself to open his mouth again. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Jae’s phone vibrated in his pocket as he was writing a customers name onto their cup for their large soy latte order, he quickly sneaked a glance once he handed the cup to a tired looking Jimin to make the order. 

  
****

**Sungjin [18:03]**

 

The video’s up.

 

**Sungjin [18:04]**

 

Also, I think you owe Dowoonie a drink!!

 

** Sungjin [18:04] **

 

And Wonpil and me too, whilst you’re at it!

 

 

 

Jae had no time to do anything but shrug - not sure what mishap he’d undergone to owe Dowoon, whom he’d not seen for two weeks now, anything - before the next customer was tutting at him impatiently. He quickly plastered on his best I-love-my-job- _honest_ smiles.

 

He didn’t think about the video again until he arrived back an hour later, hanging his apron on the coat rack.

 

“Hey babe, the video is up.”

 

“Yeah, Sungjin texted me. Have you watched it yet?”

 

As Jae rounded the corner as his eyes landed on Brian, swamped in a wooly jumper, the long sleeves swallowing up his hands, grey joggers, with complimenting odd socks. A soft smile immediately spread onto his face. It’d been two weeks already but he’s not sure he’d ever become immune to this feeling.

 

“Not yet I was waiting for you--” Brian turns to look at him then, a warm grin of his own appearing-- “Are you just gonna stand there all night? Get your butt over here, I need cuddles.” The younger pats the cushion on the sofa next to him.

 

It’s alien to think that half a month ago they were sat in this exact position, hating each others guts, and wanting to be anywhere but there.

 

Now Jae couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

 

“How was work?”

 

“Same old, same old.” Jae shrugged as he curled into Brian’s side, the younger’s arm circling around his shoulders. “Are we watching it then?”

 

“Umhm, let see how they managed to play this without getting shit tonnes of homophobes yelling at us in the comments.”

 

“Sungjin said he’d sort it though, and like if Mark agreed to this entire thing he can't believe that it’ll damage your career too much.” He glanced up at Brian, eyes wide. “Right?”

 

“Right. Korea might be straight as a ruler but the States are another story, I swear even a minute long interaction with another male celebrity turns into a trending hashtag on twitter with our names combined into a ship. Americans are crazy.”

 

“D’ya think we’ll become a ship.”

 

“I ship us.” Brian shoots a gummy smile down to Jae, who in return makes exaggerated kiss noises. 

 

The video loads quickly thanks to Brian’s super fast, unnecessarily expensive wifi, and they pause it before the first second can tick over.

 

“You ready?” 

 

Jae nods and Brian clicks the mouse.

 

 

The video opens with the clip of Brian walking in to find Jae on the couch. Jae squeezes his eyes shut and tucks his head into the crook of Brian’s shoulder, not particularly wanting to relive the painful experience. 

 

Brian rubs his thumb soothingly on Jae’s shoulder through his shirt.

 

The painfully awkward interview scene started up, Dowoon’s low voice rattling through the laptop’s puny speakers, Brain’s and Jae’s replies, curt and quiet in comparison. Brian was grateful to see that they’d cut out the moment that he’d accused Jae of cheating, the guilt still raw and red in his chest.

 

During the interview in the video, prior to them getting the handcuffs, a quick compilation of clips was shown where they were actually in the handcuffs, the gym, the diner, the music room, the club, the--

 

“Wait what the fuck?” Jae’s arm shot out to pause the screen on a particularly suggestive frame. Jae’s face screwed up in near ecstasy, Brian’s thumb between his lips, the orange glow of Brian’s bedside lamp. “Holy shit is that--"

 

“Woah, I didn’t expect him to actually put this in.” Brian’s laugher erupted out of his throat, Jae punched him meekly on the shoulder. 

 

“So this is what Sungjin meant when he said I needed to buy Dowoon a drink.”

 

“Yeah, but maybe not,” Brian was still laughing, shoulders shaking slightly where Jae was tucked in. “I’m not sure Dowoon will ever want to look at you again.”

 

Jae couldn’t help but chuckle quietly at that.

 

He reached out to hit play again, but Brian grabbed his wrist gently, causing Jae to turn his head to look at him with big wide eyes.

 

“You don’t mind do you? That they included it?”

 

Jae smiled warmly, reassuringly. “No, Sungjin and Wonpil wouldn’t have done it if they knew I wouldn’t be okay with it.” He shrugged flippantly. “I don’t mind, I look hot.”

 

Brian smirks. “Damn right you do.” The warmth spread in his chest at Jae’s spurt of confidence.

 

The first section of the video is reassuring. Jae picking up on Brian’s guilt, the age-old grudge act becoming increasingly obvious that it is in fact an act. He wonders why he hadn’t noticed at the time, the adoration in Brian’s eyes, making him blush and squirm closer to Brian on the couch. 

 

During the moment in the music room, Jae had flinched in real time, as well as on the screen when Brian performed his song for him. He hoped Brian couldn’t tell how fast his heart was beating right now. 

 

“Oh god,” Brian groaned when the shots of them at the club appeared on screen. Dowoon, had made them look like horny teenagers who couldn’t get their hands off each other. 

 

“Jesus,” Jae whispered, watching as the Brian on the screen sucked on the Jae on the screen’s earlobe, whilst groping his ass. He was in shock of how much they’ve kept in. Surely this broke like twelve Youtube rules or something? “Were we really that handsy?”

 

“Apparently so--" Brian was cut off when the screen suddenly turned dark, 

 

_“Uh, uh Brian.”_

 

_…_

 

“Shit.”

 

“Oh Lord, _no_.”

 

The dark clip dissapeared as quickly as it arrived, moving on to the footage from the final handcuffed hour with the interview.

 

A silence fell between them both for a split second, before they both burst into a fit of giggles.

 

“What the fuck,” Jae managed, very out of breathe, flailing against Brian. “How have they been allowed to keep that in?”

 

“Jesus, I swear you’re gonna have people jacking off to that.”

 

Jae thumps him on the chest playfully, unable to stop the blush rising to his cheeks.

 

“Shut up, you.”

 

“That plus the shot from the beginning, you’re going to have hoards of admirers. I’m gonna have to keep my eye on you--”

 

Jae cut him off when he pressed their lips together in a soft kiss.

 

“I only want you.” There foreheads touching, noses brushing, matching grins on their faces, Jae hasn’t felt this content in a long while.

 

Brian, always Brian.

 

With their little distraction, the video had finished, the timer for the autoplay almost up. Jae quickly moves away from Brian to scroll through the comments of the video. He missed the playfully hurt expression Brian shot at him.

 

“Woah!”

 

“What is it?” Brian leaned in behind Jae, squinting so he could read the comments too.

 

Jae scrolled through them slowly, mouth hanging open, already over two thousand waiting for them.

 

 

 

 

_they’re really cute oml_

 

_came for youngk but stayed for jae_

 

_AHIJFOWKEFNWK HOLY SHIT THEY FUCKED IN HANDCUFFS YOUNGK THE KINKY MF_

 

_I SHIP THESE TWO SO BAD THEY’D BETTER KEEP TALKNG TO EACHOTHR I NEED THIS BROMANCE_

 

_i don’t believe that they acted like that at the club and had full on sex and didn’t feel anything for each other again wtf, they deffo played us_

 

_lmao that woman in the gym was super jelly of Jae huhuhuhuh_

 

_akdfakjsdfkjksdo youngk looks fckin hot in all black_

 

_I CALL BULLSHIT THEUY’RE TOTALLY STILL FUCKING_

 

_theyre so chill man, if someone tricked me and my ex into this, they wouldn’t have lived to see the next day_

 

_I wanna know why they broke up in the first place wtf they're so cute why would they split???_

 

_IF I DONT SEE JAE STANDING BACKSTAGE AT A SHOW ON YOUNGK’S NEXT TOUR SOMEONE BOUTTA CATCH THESE HANDS_

 

_HABITS WAS 1000000% WRITTEN FOR JAE FUCK EMOTIONSSSDSNDOFAOKNDSOFKN_

 

 

“--woah.”

 

“Wait, that song you sung--”

 

Brian coughed awkwardly, not meeting Jae's eye.

 

“--that was written for me?”

 

The younger seemed to be having some internal conflict as to whether to fess up or not. After a few moments he sighed dramatically.

 

“Less _for_ you, more _about_ you.”

 

Jae smiled gently, noticing Brian’s growing blush.

 

“I don’t know, I just missed you. I didn’t know what to write about, it was like I couldn’t write about anything _but_ you, or how heartbroken I was--”

 

Jae’s heart stuttered in his chest.

 

“--and I just wished that nothing had happened, t-that we’d just stayed as we are.”

 

He lifted his hands up to cup Brian’s face, thumb running over his cheek softly. Brian finally met his eyes.

 

“I’m here now,” Jae whispered. “And I’m not going anywhere, okay.” 

 

Brian nodded, grin spreading over his face. He quickly moved in for another kiss, a deeper kiss.

 

“Can you stay again tonight?”

 

Jae hummed in affirmation into Brian’s mouth and let himself be carefully pushed back onto the sofa.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“So what the fuck?”

 

“Huh?” Jae startled, not expecting anyone to be awake as he creeped through the front door at five in the morning. He wasn’t even supposed to be here, but he’d forgotten to grab his favourite hoodie off the dryer before he’d left last week, and there was only so long he could go without it. “What do you mean what the fuck?”

 

“I mean, _what the fuck_.” Sungjin let out an incredulous laugh. “Where have you been? You’ve not slept here once this week.”

 

Ah, here we go.

 

Jae glanced around, not surprised to see that the apartment was significantly cleaner than when he permanently resides on the couch. No soda cans or half eaten cup ramyeons, and his guitar is tucked safely away in it’s case rather than thrown limply across the coach. 

 

Wonpil was sat on the couch, obviously having just woken up, stretching out the kinks in his neck carefully. Sungjin was standing beside where Wonpil was sitting, having woken up not much earlier. Had they stayed up the entire night just to catch him? Had they stayed up _more_ than one night?

 

It takes him a moment to realise that Sungjin is still talking.

 

“--at first we thought Bernard, but when we texted him he said he hasn’t seen you in weeks.”

 

“Then I messaged Jimin - and you know how much she scares me - to ask if you’ve been doing extra shifts at the cafe.” Wonpil added, tugging on his shirt and making guilt bubble in Jae’s stomach.

 

“We even messaged your mum and asked if you’d gone home for the week. She got all panicked so we had to lie to her and say you were at a friend’s. I had to lie Jae. _Me_ , Park Sungjin. And to your _mother_. If I end up in hell it’ll be on your conscious.”

 

Jae doesn’t look at them anymore, he’s looking at the patch of carpet in front of his feet.

 

“Where have you been, Jae?” Wonpil practically pleads with him. “You know we’re only asking because we’re worried right?”

 

Jae nodded. Like a child being scolded by his parents. Ironic really. 

 

“Come on Jae--" Sungjin said, toning down the frustration, more calm. “After what happened last time, well, we just want to make sure you’re safe. When you’re out god knows where on your own, we can’t help but worry.”

 

“I’m not a child.” Jae pouted. “I am capable of taking care of myself.”

 

“Yes but you live _here_ Jae, yet you’re barely here, we barely see you. Please just tell us.”

 

Jae understands, he really does. God, he’d be worried sick if one of those two didn’t come home for a week with no explanation. As he avoided their hurt stares a (fairly terrible but ah well) idea formed in his head.

 

“Tomorrow.” The word jumped out of his throat before he could fully think through his plan. “I’ll explain everything tomorrow, I promise.” 

 

Sungjin looked disappointed that he had to wait another twenty four hours, but Wonpil’s eyes lit up, the prospect of knowing tomorrow obviously bringing some relief.

 

“Sure, yes, Jae that sounds great.”

 

“At that Italian place in Gangnam, seven thirty.” 

 

“It’s a date.” Sungjin sighed, before Wonpil starts excitedly hitting his arm.

 

“Wait is it actually?” Wonpil gasps, smile covering his face and Jae couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Are we going on a double date, Hyung?”

 

“Well you’ll have to wait and see.” Jae teased. 

 

Sungjin expression was mixture of being sceptic and proud. After a moment it softened, when he saw how genuinely happy Jae was, despite just having being caught and basically guilt tripped by his flatmates. “Cant wait to meet the lucky fella.”

 

At that, Jae could do nothing to stop the pink finding his cheeks.

 

He coughed awkwardly, ignoring the two proud parent smiles that were gleaming in his direction.

 

“I’ve gotta go now, I just came back to, um, grab my hoodie.” He pulled it off the dryer in the corner of the room and tried not to get goosebumps from the creepy way the smiles followed him around the room and out the door as he shot a slightly nervous wave towards his two roommates. 

 

_Yes_ it had been three weeks since his and Brian’s supposed farewell interview on the couch, and a week since the video went up. _Yes_ Jae feels guilty, _yes_ he’d meant to tell them, but he’d managed to keep finding excuses. _‘Ah I cant just drop the bombshell via text, Wonpil will kill me,’_ or _‘They’re both super stressed out with work, they don’t need me putting anything else on their shoulders.’_

 

And Jae knew they were crap excuses, he really did. But he wanted to get this just right. Brian had been pestering him to tell them, tired of hiding their relationship from their friends as well as the public, but Jae had reassured him with _“Soon, I promise,”_  everytime and then distracted him with a kiss.

 

As he got in the elevator he pulled out his phone.

 

A few miles away Brian’s mobile buzzed to life.

 

**Jae <3 [5:32am] **

 

tomorrow,,

 

**Jae <3 [5:33am] **

 

lets do thisssss

 

 

Brian smiled fondly at his screen, before clicking at a few obnoxiously bright heart emojis, rolling over and falling back to sleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

Jae blinked quickly, Brian coming back into focus beside him in the booth.

 

“Yeah, yeah sorry. Just zoned out a little.”

 

“Because you’re nervous.” Brian threaded his fingers through Jae’s and squeezed. Jae cringed slightly, all too aware of his own sweaty palms. “Don’t worry, they’re going to be over the moon, they made this happen remember. Everything will be fine.”

 

“I just,” Jae started, wondering how to phrase the tangle of worries swimming around in his brain. “This is our thing, a little bubble, no one else knows about us--”

 

“--well, some of my fans are creating _pretty_ accurate theories--”

 

“Very funny,” despite his deadpanned tone, the remark did leave his shoulders feeling a little lighter. “It’s just that, once we tell them, that’s two more people involved. And you know Sungjin and Wonpil, they’re very… protective over me after what happened. They refused to let me move out, they claim it’s more ‘financially beneficial’, but I see the worried looks when I have a bad day at work, or when I don’t come home for the night.”

 

Brian’s thumb rubs soothingly over the back of his hand. “Don’t worry so much, baby. Sungjin and Wonpil love you, I love you. What could possibly go wrong with this equation?”

 

Jae looks at him through his eyelashes, his newly dyed dark hair falling over his eye slightly, but no fingerprint ridden fake glasses obstructing his view. Brian’s expression, falloff loving, full ofsincerity made his stomach do a little dance. 

 

“I love you too.”

 

“I know you do,” Brian leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jae’s head quickly. “Now, I really shouldn’t have drunk that water so quickly,” Jae chuckled, glancing at his boyfriend’s almost empty pint glass. “I’ll just head to the bathroom, I’ll be back in a second.”

 

Jae nodded, letting Brian release his hand, and once the younger was out of eyeshot he frantically rubbed them on his trousers, in an attempt to make them less sweaty.

 

The minute he glanced up though, he was almost ready to lose all his dignity and yell at the top of his lungs for Brian to come back. But it was almost definitely too late. 

 

Sungjin and Wonpil were walking through the doors of the restaurant.

 

Why is it that anything Jae actually makes an attempt at organising, it goes to shit? Like, really, can the universe please cut him some slack?

 

“Hey hyung,” Wonpil bounds up to him beaming, but when he sees the empty space beside Jae his face falls. “Where’s your date?”

 

“He hasn’t bailed on you has he?” Sungjin looks decidedly pissed, “Who is he? I’ll kill him.”

 

An image of Sungjin pinning up Brian to the wall by his neck, Brian spluttering and wheezing for air, is enough to kick Jae back into action.

 

“--No, no, god, guys chill. He’s just in the bathroom, he’ll be out in a minute.”

 

“Hmm,” Sungjin still looked sceptical, but slid into the booth beside Wonpil anyway. 

 

And then Wonpil’s questions started.

 

“Is he handsome hyung? How long have you been seeing him? Where did you meet? Does he like dogs--”

 

Jae zoned out as he saw the bathroom door open, Brian stepping out.

 

His eyes slipped down to his own fingers on his lap underneath the table, far too nervous about how this was going to play out.

 

“Hi guys.”

 

Wonpil’s blabbering stuttered to a halt as his eyes landed on Brian who was hovering in front of their table.

 

An awkward laugh escaped Sungjin’s throat, and Jae could feel the younger’s worried eyes landingon him from across the booth. “Brian, fancy seeing you here.”

 

Brian grinned back, slowly sinking into the seat beside Jae.

 

“Um, Brian, we’re actually waiting to meet someone, I don’t think--”

 

“Holy shit!” Wonpil interrupts his boyfriend’s confused warning as he watches Brian’s arm snake around Jae's shoulders. 

 

Jae finally looks up, very guiltily, to see Sungjin glancing bewilderedly between his boyfriend and Brian, coupled with Wonpil’s scandalised expression.

 

“Surprise.” Brian’s tone gave away the fact that he was grinning ear to ear. Jae kept his eyes on his friend’s reactions.

 

“Wait, what?” Sungjing was still very much not understanding, Jae almost laughed. But then Wonpil butted in.

 

“I’ll tell you _What_ , hyung. These two tricked us, or lied to us, or both.” Jae almost felt bad for him again, until his eyes landed on the smirk on Wonpil’s lips, realising he wasn't actually pissed.

 

But Sungjin, bless him, was still very slow.

 

“Wait… so you two are, dating?”

 

“Yes,” Brian answered quickly, obviously growing impatient with Sungjin’s cluelessness. “Yes we’re dating, yes I am who Jae’s been staying with all week.”

 

Jae could feel himself blushing furiously, and it definitely didn’t lighten up when Wonpil smirk turned into the biggest grin that could possibly fit on his face.

 

“Hyungs!” He squealed and threw his arms around Jae - very awkward from the other side of the booth.

 

“Wait, so the video, the interview?” Sungjin pointed between them, still looking like a lost puppy.

 

“Yeah we lied, sorry.” Jae finally spoke up having freed himself from Wonpil’s suffocating grip.

 

“Although,” Brian added, “Did you really expect us to come clean about the entire thing? Have people making all sorts of theories?”

 

“Well they still did that, have you not seen the comments, jeez your fans are a little insane.” Sungjin scoffed.

 

“True,” Brian wrapped his arm around Jae’s waist, pulling him closer, ignoring Wonpil’s _THEY’RESOADORABLE_ squeaks. “But I was worried that what happened to Jae might come to light. I don’t want people making stuff up or typing bullshit from behind their computer screen.”

 

Sungjin nodded. 

 

“Anyway,” Jae exhales once the atmosphere around the table had settled. He turned to Sungjin and Wonpil, “I hope you guys aren’t mad at me, at us, I hope we can forget about the past and move on together, happy and healthy.”

 

Sungjin looks somewhat flabbergasted, whilst Wonpil sniffs, wiping away a fake tear as he muttered “My little Jae, you’ve grown up so fast. You how mature you are now”

 

Brian’s chuckle vibrated through Jae’s back. 

 

“Does this mean you’ll be moving out soon?”

 

“Wow, Sungjin, trying to get rid of me that quickly? You could at least _pretend_ to be subtle about it.”

 

Wonpil laughs and ruffles his boyfriend’s hair.

 

“What Sungjinie means is, you’re welcome to stay for as long as you want, we just have another potential roommate in the line up.” When Jae scoffs and looks mock-offended, Wonpil elaborates. “Dowoonie’s contract on his flat is coming to an end, so we’ve said he could stay with us for a while, I mean, you’ve barely been at home the last few weeks so we’d assumed there’d be a spare bed, but if you’re moving out for good, then--”

 

Jae shifted uncomfortably. Brian hadn’t asked him to move in. Staying the night for consecutive night did by no means translate to _‘I want you to move in with me’._ What if Brian didn’t want him there? Sure he’d invited him round not just for sex, they’d spent a solid twelve hours in the music room the other day, playing with the amp that he never had to buy, writing terrible songs about Pizza together. Jae had even befriended Jisung the butler. Brian’s apartment _had_ become his second home, but the familiar fear of rejection was sitting in the bottom of his stomach again.

 

Brian noticed him tense, he rested a comforting hand on his thigh.

 

“If we can borrow your truck Sungjin, he can be out in a week. If that’s what you want?” Brian directed the last question at Jae, who’s eyes lit up.

 

He twists and plants a kiss on Brian’s lips, much to everyone’s surprise.

 

“I love you,” he says, barely a whisper. 

 

Brian’s eyes have always been warm, always been the place Jae felt the most at home, but now they shone with something else, something Jae wanted to bathe in forever.

 

“I love you too, Jae. 

 

 

So much.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end,,
> 
>  
> 
> i lowkey wanna do a thing with the wonpil/sungjin/dowoon happeninggsss,
> 
> but idk if i will
> 
> thank you for reading this mess lmao, please tell me what you thought it means the world to meee<3
> 
>  
> 
> aLSOOOO
> 
> check out ma twitter bc im going to do some polls where you cant decide what i write next bc i want some help .thankssss

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave kudos and comments bc i rely entirely on comments from strangers on le internet for self validation ty
> 
> yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/daehwisdays) i need friends


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